Ask Amy: Sixth graders want to mention the school’s sexist dress code

Dear Amy: I’m a sixth grade girl in high school, and I love your column.

I’m finally starting to get confident, but something that happened the other day surprised me.

I got the dress-code from my teacher because I wore a shirt that had a slit on the shoulder. We couldn’t wear cropped shirts or spaghetti strap shirts. It’s not one of those things – it’s just a off-the-shoulder shirt.

My teacher pulled me aside and said, “You can’t wear that.” I’m confused. He then stated all the things he noticed about my clothes, like he noticed me. I felt so ashamed and self-conscious.

When I got back to class, I started researching dress codes and realized how sexist they were.

The dress code only attacks women and sexualizes what we wear.

(By the way, Master also violated the dress code.)

When I got a dress code, I felt like I was going to school in the morning to catch the boys’ attention, and for the girls to think I was hot or something.

It makes kids feel ashamed of their bodies and skin, and it makes them make fun of them.

To protest this, I want to write a letter to the principal of the school.

I’m just wondering before I do – am I right or should I just leave the dress code alone as the dress code is what it should be?

I’ve never seen boys given a dress code for wearing so-called “inappropriate attire.”

– Dress code

Dear Dress-coded: Being called like this by your teacher is really hard on you.

I think your response is completely correct.

The dress code was designed for a very good reason. The overall goal of the group of adults is to design a way for children to be less distracted by their clothes so they can focus on their education.

One good thing that dress codes do is help take the pressure off some kids who may not have the resources to dress trendy. The Code sets basic standards for all schools, and yes – children should understand and respect the standards their school has set.

Some schools require students to wear uniforms. This puts aside the whole issue of putting school staff in the shoes of staring at students and judging their clothing choices.

You are right that this rule is applied to girls more often than boys, and that sometimes children tying their hair or braiding it (or some other way appropriate to their own race or culture) is also “coded” indirectly. fair.

I really appreciate the fact that you turned your embarrassment into action.

Yes, I agree that you should write a letter to the principal, expressing your thoughts and bringing out the good points you have brought up.

In my opinion, it makes excellent use of your education. Good for you.

Dear Amy: You published my question signed, “Seeking Love.”

My question seems to have generated a number of responses and a lot of speculation about my situation.

Here it is: It’s 7pm and I just got back from the store. I went at the request of my wife, who asked me to give her some wine, dessert and Benadryl.

I don’t consume these things.

What is reasonable to expect in return?

A hug? NO.

Kiss? NO

Thank You? Yeah of course. I get thanked. But isn’t it reasonable to expect something more than the thanks a stranger might get for holding the door open?

– Still looking

Dear Looking: Your sadness and frustration is evident. You must express all the same to your wife.

I once received wonderful and timeless advice from a long-married friend, to always remember to treat your partner with the same enthusiasm and compassion as you would your most cherished friend.

You are starving for affection, and it hurts a lot.

Dear Amy: “Betrayer” describes how he betrayed his wife time and time again. After 10 years of successful recovery, he feels like he’s been imprisoned because of his trust issues.

He said he just wanted to have a day surfing at the beach.

Your response is fine, but why don’t you suggest that he bring his wife along too?

– Wonder

Dear Wondering: I think spending a day free from his direct supervision (he can still track his location on the app) can help build trust.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or write to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.