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COLUMN
In his regular column, veteran journalist A. Craig Copetas asks if Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Dogecoin are modern equivalents of sneezing powder and whoopee cushions.
Samuel Soren Adams felt it was time to stop rushing around in a New Jersey pool hall. So he put down his billiard cue and, in 1905, accepted a job as a coal tar soap salesman.
Dad noticed that distilled coal tar had extremely high sneezing potential, his son Bud said thirty years before the iPhone Sneeze app came along. So for fun, dad squirted the powder through keyholes in hotel rooms and inside cafes.
Elder Adams bottled and marketed his carcinogenic concoction under the name Cachoo. Within three months of its introduction, a Philadelphia retailer had purchased 70,000 bottles. This triumph was followed by the Snake Jam Jar, which, when opened, unleashed a meter-long imitation snake. Then came the Dribble Glass, then, of course, the Whoopee Cushion. Exploding matches made another big boom.
Bud Adams has said his family goes from gags to riches, proving the public will buy anything no matter how shady, ridiculous or dangerous the gadget is. And all these years later, it’s still hard to dismiss the marketing wisdom of a prank mogul whose records show he sold 10,000 Super Joy Handshake Buzzers in Kuwait each year and kept locals coming back for more. .
The Adams family gadgets paved the way for all sorts of silly stuff currently available through a smartphone, such as the Ajit Khubanis massage slippers ($ 27.99); Witty Yetis Dehydrated Water ($ 13.30) and Arnie McPhees Yodeling Pickle ($ 12.99). A box of lightly radioactive uranium ore on Amazon costs $ 39.95 and a $ 5 per month fee lets anyone play Wall Street mogul on the Robinhood Gold stock trading app.
The trick, says Bud Adams, is to come up with a product that captures what audiences want and can bring that dream to life, even briefly.
Like everyone wants to be a millionaire, how about a $ 32,000 Bitcoin Satoshi Nakamoto. The price of Vitalik Buterins Ethereum to enter your digital wallet is $ 3,073 per Ether. Too steep for your pocket? Dogecoin is a deal at 17 cents the doge, especially since software engineers Billy Markus and Jackson Palmer say they created the gimcrack which today has a market cap of over $ 32.65 billion in 2013 as a joke to make fun of cryptocurrencies.
Although the Wizard of Oz advises not to pay attention to the man behind the curtain, Nassim Nicholas Taleb nonetheless claims that cryptocurrency pranksters are peddling a Ponzi scheme and gimmick. Taleb should know. The 2007 economists’ bestselling book The Black Swan described highly improbable events and their potential to trigger serious cascading effects.
Indeed, celebrity multi-billion dollar investor Warren Buffet described Bitcoin as possibly a rat poison squared cryptocurrency, poo as a non-productive asset. All you rely on is if the next person is going to pay you more because they are even more excited about another person showing up, has been the verdict of the Oracle of Omahas.
Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman argues that cryptocurrencies play almost no role in normal economic activity. Almost the only time we hear of their use as a form of payment, as opposed to speculative trading, is associated with illegal activity.
Adds Bill Gates, digital godfather and founder of Microsoft Corp, Bitcoin uses more electricity per transaction than any other method known to mankind.
It’s probably not surprising that all of the baby boomers ‘grumbling about cryptocurrency echoed the establishment’s initial reaction to Adams’ sneeze concentrate. Cachoo has divided the country like nothing since the Civil War, an account read in a New Jersey newspaper. Town fathers pass ordinances, school principals preach sermons, columnists rise up against Cachoo. But a population hungry for laughter demands more. The eagle cries out as this fair land echoes under the thunder of the nasal borders.
Still, whatever your bet on the cryptocurrency, I would highly bet that the Adams product catalog would have branded the Digital Dough product and displayed the product alongside Suckers Soap, Squirting Flowers, and Mystic Smoke From Fingertips, a goo that was becoming pouf when rubbed between thumb and forefinger.
Bud Adams described his business as a manual jive. He died a millionaire in 2001.
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the editorial position of Al Jazeeras.
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