Donald Morrison: Oh! How I hate to get up in the morning | Columnists

[ad_1]

You can recognize the words above as the opening line – and the title – of Irving Berlin’s famous 1918 song about army life.

The Russian immigrant, widely considered America’s greatest songwriter (“God Bless America,” “Cheek to Cheek,” “White Christmas”) was drafted into the U.S. Army at the end of World War I. But such of many babies on Broadway, he was a nocturnal creature. For her, reveille was agony.

Same for me, exactly 50 years later, when I too was drafted. Rising with the birds is not my idea of ​​national service. My military career was ugly, cruel and short.

I’m always a night owl. As a child, I would stay awake, read under covers with a flashlight or listen to distant stations on my transistor radio. I am often late for school.

My sleep habits did not improve when I finished active duty and got a job. After so many missed morning meetings, I thought I’d better adopt some coping strategies.

Stop drinking coffee or tea in the afternoon. Married get up early. I moved my alarm clock to the far corner of the room. I even trained my electronic manager Alexa to stimulate me on time, with limited success. My life remained an endless film noir.

To fill those hours at night, I started reading about sleep. Science tells us that sleep repairs sun damage, helping the brain process the information captured while we are awake. In effect, as Shakespeare said, sleep is lacking in the rough sleeve of care.

It was fun to learn all that, but my problem was not an inability to sleep. It’s a tendency to snooze on my terms, not society. My circadian rhythm marched to a different circadium. I am at my best when others are resting.

I didn’t try to make me normal. White-noise machines forced me to wake up. The soothing sounds of running water pushed me to pee. Melatonin pills have little side effects. I tried the dazzling type of mattresses, pillows and ear plugs, but to no avail.

One thing that has helped is retirement. I don’t have to be in the office every morning, to stay awake as long as I want. The problem is, I don’t want to get up in the morning anymore.

That’s because I know what awaits me: bad news. Covid is still killing thousands. Gun violence is on the rise. Democracy is under threat. China is rising, Russia is not good, inflation is coming back, climate change is out of control. Who wants to get up?

Irving Berlin, or so it seems. According to biographers, he was a model soldier – got out of bed at the first blow of the bugle and did not complain. But deep down, he dreads every dawn.

Perhaps that is why he is such a brilliant, very good composer. A study by Satoshi Kanazawa, a psychologist at The London School of Economics, found that people who are awake tend to have higher IQs. A study at the University of Southampton found that nocturnal owls tend to earn more as well.

One theory is that, at times when lesser mortals sink into the arms of Morpheus, the wise get an intellectual second wind. So maybe we creative types do our best work in the dark of night. (It’s past midnight as I write this.)

Like Irving Berlin. One day in 1918, his camp commander asked him to make a musical number to help with the war effort. Berlin was busy all day as a supply clerk, so he had to make the request until midnight. The result: “Oh, How I Hate to Get Up in the Morning.”

The song appeared in three Broadway shows, a World War II film and a McDonald’s commercial in 2016. Berlin never intended to earn a penny from the song, but he received an immediate reward. The camp commander, rather than court-martial him for disobedience, gave him permission to ignore the reveille and sleep for the rest of his Army days.

Maybe I’ll follow Berlin’s example-tell the world how I operate and let them adjust. To paraphrase the immortal ditty of Berlin:

“One day, I will kill Alexa. One day they will find him dead. I will cut his reveille, and tread it heavily. And spend the rest of my life in bed. ”Sweet dream.

Donald Morrison is an Eagle columnist and co-chairman of the advisory board. The opinions expressed by the columnists do not necessarily reflect the views of The Berkshire Eagle.

[ad_2]