Eric Trump: Putin Was Pants-Pissingly Terrified of My Dad, OK?

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Why didn’t Vladimir Putin invade Ukraine while Donald Trump was president? Setting aside the fact that the Russian president has effectively been invading Ukraine since 2014, the reason Putin didn’t wage a full-scale war against the neighboring country while Trump was in office is that, more than likely, he didn’t think the Russian military was ready. At least, that’s the assessment of former national security adviser John Bolton, who has actual knowledge of this stuff. But what does Eric Trump, who doesn’t know anything about anything, think? Let’s find out!

In an interview with Sean Hannity on Monday night, the former president’s son claimed Putin used his training as a spy to deduce that Trump — a five-time draft dodger who used bone spurs as an excuse to avoid service — was a man he did not want to mess with. “Putin was in with the KBG, he can read people and he could tell that Donald Trump was a very strong person,” Eric declared with a completely straight face, adding: “Listen, my father would call up and would have said, ‘ Vladimir, don’t even think about it, don’t even try us. I’m telling you it’s not going to work out very well for you. ‘”

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Of course, in reality, Putin more than likely knew he could get away with anything he wanted while Trump was in office, and we know this because he did. As a reminder, between the years 2016 and 2020, Trump:

Publicly sided with Putin over his own intelligence agencies re: Russia’s 2016 presidential election meddlingClaimed it was Ukraine that meddled in the election, a line straight out of the Kremlin’s playbookTalked to Putin, ie the guy whose country actually interfered in the 2016 election, about forming a “cybersecurity unit” with Russia to combat “election hacking” Repeatedly pressed for Russia to be let back in an expanded G7, which it had been kicked out of for annexing CrimeaMade excuses for killings by Putin, saying the US is just as badLeaked classified information from another country to RussiaAllowed Russia to expand its influence in SyriaBizarrely defended the Soviet Union’s 1979 invasion of Afghanistan, insisting Russia was “right to be there,” a statement the Wall Street Journal editorial board responded to by writing: “We cannot recall a more absurd misstatement of history by an American President. ”

Naturally, Eric isn’t the only Trump boy spinning historical fan fiction about his father. In a video uploaded to Twitter last week, Donald Trump Jr. insisted that when the former president praises dictators like Putin, he’s not doing so because there’s something uniquely wrong with him but because he’s playing a high-level game of 3D chess. “He knew exactly how to play these guys, and he played it like a fiddle,” Junior claimed, a statement that would take a family therapist years to unpack.

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Elon Musk pivots from supporting Ukraine to making fun of people supporting Ukraine

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(The Telsa CEO also challenged Vladimir Putin to “single combat” this week, tweeting at the Kremlin, in Russian: “Do you agree to this fight?” So apparently he goes back and forth.)

US lawmakers hoping we can find Russian oligarchs’ assets for them

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