Donald Austin Stivers of Santa Barbara, 1924-2022 | Obituaries

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Posted on July 1, 2022 | 4:39 pm

Donald Austin Stivers and Florence Stivers

Donald Austin Stivers was born at home on May 10, 1924 in Geneva, New York. He grew up in the beautiful Finger Lakes region of New York State.

During the height of the depression, his family lived on a farm with no electricity or indoor plumbing. He remembered that “the floors in the old farmhouse had big cracks in them so that in winter, the wind blew up through them and lifted the rug off the floor.”

They grew their own fruits and vegetables, and had a strawberry patch. Donald walked a mile to a one-room schoolhouse every day, and sometimes the walk home became two miles, as he loved to play in the creeks and cornfields with his friends.

Donald Stivers

Although Donald was baptized in a Baptist Church, his parents did not usually attend church. However, on Sunday mornings, the owners of the farm, who were devout, humble people, would take Donald along with them to their Presbyterian Church. He loved getting to ride in their classic old Ford, which had to be started with a hand crank. As with most children, Donald liked to doodle during the sermons.

Eventually, as the depression lifted, his family moved back to the city of Geneva, where Donald attended high school as a member of the class of 1942. Donald was an outstanding student. Among other things, he learned French, German, and how to type – all skills that would prove to be quite useful later.

He worked on the yearbook and enjoyed being on the drama club’s stage crew. He loved movies and was fascinated by filmmaking, and thought someday he would like to move to California and work in Hollywood.

During his senior year, in the evenings while working on his homework, Donald usually listened to music on the radio, everything from the Glenn Miller Orchestra to the New York Philharmonic. One evening in December, the music was interrupted by news of the attack on Pearl Harbor.

Not long after, during one of the darkest nights of the year in late December, while working on a stage for an upcoming play, Donald felt a certain emptiness, and a calling for something deeper. He stepped out for a long walk in the cold, snowy night and found his way to Trinity Episcopal Church, where an Advent service was taking place. He knew right then he had found what he was looking for.

As his high school graduation approached, Donald wanted to study philosophy in college and eventually become an Episcopal priest. Instead, he was drafted into the US Army, and spent the next four years in the 256th Armored Field Artillery Battalion, which landed in Normandy (Utah Beach), and fought through France, Belgium, Holland, and finally into Germany.

The 256th had heavy eight-inch field guns, used for destroying fortified locations such as the U-boat pens in Lorient, but also sometimes struck at heavily defended urban locations. The destruction they wrought came to weigh on Donald’s conscience, especially in Germany when he came upon a city square and cathedral that had been devastated by their own fire.

As the battery clerk, Donald not only had a carbine rifle but also a typewriter. He would write a letter to his family every day to make sure they knew he was OK. He would sign his letters “As Ever.” But he also had to write many other documents, including “KIA” letters. Later, reflecting on his role as battalion clerk, he said, “My ministry was well underway before I fully realized it.”

After the war, Donald attended Hobart College in Geneva, then went on to Seabury-Western Theological Seminary in Evanston, Illinois. He was ordained as an Episcopal priest on St. Thomas’s Day, Dec. 21, 1951 at St. Thomas’s Church in Brighton, New York, about 10 years to the day from when he first felt called to the ministry.

Soon thereafter, he met the love of his life, Florence Hume Tryon, a nurse working at Rochester General Hospital.

For nearly 25 years, he served as the parish priest of All Saints Episcopal Church in Irondequoit, New York, where he was known as “Father Don.” While there, Donand and Florence raised two children and dedicated themselves to both family and church life.

Somehow, they also found time to build a house of their own along Lake Ontario, not far from Sodus Bay. The house had a unique, three-story parabolic shape, optimal for deflecting snow. It still stands today.

The family lived in England for a year when Donald took a sabbatical to study in Canterbury. A highlight was having lunch with the aged Archbishop of Canterbury and a young Princess Anne, who wanted “to hear all about America.” During his studies, Donald developed a deep knowledge of church history, theology, and especially the Bible.

His sermons and biblical studies were always rich with insights, but also were imbued with his rich sense of humor.

He taught himself how to play the piano and how to chant the liturgy of The Holy Communion, but most of all he loved to play the harmonica, especially around a campfire. He was well known for getting everyone’s attention with his barnyard whistle that could be heard for acres, and for starting a talk with a joke, the cornier the better.

Much of Donald’s work as a pastor involved counseling amidst changing times, and he earned a master’s degree in marriage and family counseling from Colgate Rochester Divinity School.

In 1974, the family went on a trip to Israel and Palestine, Donald leading a group to visit the sites of the Holy Land, which made the Bible “really come alive” for him. Donald was drawn to the Charismatic Movement in the 1970s, and in 1976, the family traveled to Europe, where Donald and Florence studied in Switzerland at L’Abri, with the theologian Francis A. Schaeffer.

With the help of many, Donald also led an annual youth conference along Keuka Lake, and led a youth trip to the Bahamas, where the group stayed at a small fishing village.

In 1979, Donald was called to a new ministry “out west” – first to Boulder City, Nevada, where he served at St. Christopher’s Episcopal Church; then in 1982 to Christ The King Episcopal Church in Santa Barbara. During this time, in his inner spiritual life, he was drawn to the writings of Spanish mystics, including St. Teresa of Avila, and especially St. John of the Cross.

Although he retired from active ministry in 1991, he continued to serve at All Saints By-The-Sea in Montecito, and at the Mount Calvary Retreat House & Monastery on Gibraltar Road in Santa Barbara. When Mount Calvary was destroyed by the Tea Fire in 2008, Donald continued his service for as long as possible at the new location, formerly St. Mary’s Retreat House, next to the Santa Barbara Mission.

As a long-time associate of the Order of the Holy Cross, he loved being able to celebrate the Holy Eucharist every Wednesday at Mount Calvary. As well, Donald and Florence often attended Trinity Episcopal Church in Santa Barbara and St. Richard’s in Lake Arrowhead with their children and grandchildren.

Even though the Episcopal Church went through many controversial changes over the years, Donald always remained loyal to the spiritual home he had found as a young man on the eve of war. One of Donald’s daily spiritual practices was to do morning and evening prayer from “The Book of Common Prayer.”

In Santa Barbara, Donald loved to swim at the Cathedral Oaks Athletic Club, where he could often be found coasting along in his lane doing the side stroke. He and Florence also enjoyed hiking and birdwatching with the Santa Barbara Audubon Society. During retirement, Donald joined a creative writing group in Santa Monica, writing semi-fictional short stories and reminiscences.

In 2020, Donald and Florence celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary together with lots of cake, ice cream and laughter.

Florence passed away peacefully on Jan. 26, 2021, with Donald by her side. With his family by his side, Donald passed away on June 28, 2022, consciously and peacefully stepping into new life.

Over many years, he kept a quote by Cardinal Suhard of Paris on the desk where he wrote so many sermons: “To be a witness does not consist in engaging in propaganda, nor in stirring people up, but in being a living mystery. It means to live in such a way that one’s life would not make sense if God did not exist. ”

During the many years of his life, Donald was a wonderful son, brother, uncle, father, grandfather, pastor, and counselor for so many people.

Donald is predeceased by his parents Laura G. and Clinton F. Stivers; his wife Florence T. Stivers; brother Rev. Alton H. Stivers; sister-in-law Susan M. Stivers; brother-in-law Richard Webb; and grandson John R. Stivers.

He is survived by his sister Jean Webb; brother Kenneth Stivers; daughter Margaret G. Stivers and son-in-law Hartley Folstad; son Michael H. Stivers and daughter-in-law Dr. Michelle P. Stivers; grandson Alexander H. Stivers; and granddaughter Louise M. Stivers.

A memorial service will be held at 2 pm Saturday, July 16 at Trinity Episcopal Church in Santa Barbara. In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to Episcopal Relief and Development.

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