Donald Trump, Whose Brain Is Made of Thumbtacks and Silly Putty, Demands a “Mental Competency Test” for Presidential Candidates

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Many things come to mind when one has the misfortune to think of Donald Trump. bigot Trembling. Guy who used a speech at the Boy Scouts of America’s quadrennial Jamboree to brag about all the great parties he went to in the ’80s. One thing we can say with complete confidence that has never been thought of is “good thinking.” However, the former president seems to believe that what will set him apart from the other candidates in 2024 is his brain—and the level at which it works. Oh, and her body too!

On Tuesday, the ex-husband took to Truth Social to declare: “Anyone running for the Office of President of the United States must agree to take a full and complete Mental Competency Test at the same time (or before!) with the announcement that he is running, and also, but to a lesser extent, agree to a test that will prove you are physically capable of doing the job. Being an exceptional President requires great mental acuity and physical stamina . If you don’t have these traits or qualities, you probably won’t succeed. MAGA!”

There isn’t enough time in the day to list the many examples of Trump not having it all together, but we’ll just note that he recently mistook a photo of his rape accuser for a second ex-wife; famously claimed that the sound from windmills causes cancer; and strangely asserted, on several occasions, that his New York-born father had been born in Germany. (Do we even need to mention that he suggested people inject bleach into their veins?) He also boasts, in 2020, that it was a major achievement to be able to pronounce five words in the correct order:

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Trump clearly thinks this test will bring down his eventual general election opponent Joe Biden, and we know this because he has insisted since the last election that Biden is “slow,” and, more recently, that the current president has dementia.

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Meanwhile, Nikki Haley, Trump’s only major GOP opponent so far, also called for compulsory competency tests for any elected official over the age of 75, saying last week: “In America, I see, the permanent politician will finally retire. We will have term limits for Congress. And mandatory mental capacity tests for politicians over 75 years old.

As for Trump’s call for “a test to prove you’re physically capable of doing the job,” that’s a drum he started beating last month when he said winning a golf tournament—which he apparently cheated— has proven that he is fit to be president again. “The reason why I announced [supposedly having won the tournament] on fabulous TRUTH is that, in a very real way, it serves as a physical exam, only MUCH tougher,” he told his Truth Social followers. “You need strength and stamina to WIN, and I have strength and stamina – most others don’t. You also need strength and endurance to GOVERN!”

As a reminder, for most of his life, Trump has had a diet that could give cardiologists recurring nightmares, with a soft spot for Big Macs, meat loaf, and KFC. (Former White House doctor Ronny Jackson once said that White House staff had to put vegetables in his diet.) Trump also said that the human body has a certain amount of energy, which physical exertion can only exhaust, so that exercise seems bad. . (“You’re going to die young for this,” he once reported to an employee training for an Ironman race.)

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