Report: Trump Spent His Days Playing, Workshop Nicknames About DeSantis’ Height and Dick

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Donald Trump has long been concerned with people’s height. Although this strange obsession doesn’t always have to do with the stature of his perceived enemies—he reportedly chose not to make Janet Yellen his Fed chair because, despite admiring her, he thought five threes were too short for the job— it happens quite often, with at least three separate opponents getting derogatory nicknames starting with “Liddle.” Knowing this adjustment to his opponent’s height, and knowing that Florida governor Ron DeSantis looks shorter than your average US president, we said last week that it’s “legitimately surprising” that Trump hasn’t been labeled his future 2024 competition “Liddle. Ron.” But apparently, he has something more special in mind.

Bloomberg News reports that a typical day for the former president means playing golf at Mar-a-Lago in the morning and planning “his political comeback” in the afternoon. While for some, the latter will require wooing donors and fine-tuning policy, for Trump, it’s slightly different. Specifically, according to Bloomberg, it usually involves “bemoaning his lack of coverage by Fox News and other cable networks, lamenting his 2020 re-election loss…and coming up with new nicknames for to his main GOP political rival, Florida governor Ron DeSantis.” What prayer tell is on the list to consider? Well, there’s “Ron DeSanctimonious,” of course, but also “Ron DisHonest,” “Ron DeEstablishment,” and “Tiny D.”

Yes, “Tiny D.” If one doesn’t care about being an old thing that really cares, you know, that does good for the country, it’s kind of perfect, because it has a double meaning both about DeSantis’ height and, apparently, penis size. he. You think Trump won’t go there? Think again. As a reminder, since announcing his first run for the White House in 2016, Trump has referred to his own genitalia on other people on at least two separate occasions. First, during a Republican debate, where he said his hands or “something else” was small, adding: “I guarantee you there is no problem. I guarantee it.” And second, when he then called White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham from Air Force One to “assure her that her penis isn’t small or toadstool-shaped, like porn star Stormy Daniels said.” (Grisham wrote about this unfortunate experience in his book.) There are other examples before the White House.

Anyway, the obvious point of Trump’s nicknames is to both psychologically harm his opponents and make them stick in the eyes of voters. And while we can’t tell if DeSantis has any feelings of inadequacy re: Little Ron, it certainly seems like the references to his height might hurt, since he seems to regularly wear shoes that give him some extra inches.

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So, hey, maybe Trump brought him there.

Does ex-boy mean to make fun of someone’s appearance, meaning something they can’t do anything about? This is. Is Trump, who looks like anything but the opposite of an Adonis, a massive hypocrite for chasing other people’s physical attributes? Actually. Are these men both horrible people who have done untold harm to the country and thus deserve each other? Yes too!

In related news…

It’s unlikely to go to Mar-a-Lago that the governor of Florida seems to have lost a few pounds:

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, a potential 2024 presidential hopeful, is heading to Iowa this week with a noticeably trimmer figure. The Republican governor, who is rumored to be considering a run for the White House in 2024, was spotted at an event on Sunday looking fit, with one Twitter user commenting, “Holy cow @GovRonDeSantis looks FIT and ready that’s for battle.” “Not sure how much weight he’s lost but his health/appearance won’t be one of Trump’s punchlines in the debates,” the person wrote.

According to New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman, Trump called DeSantis “fat” and “whiny” in private statements, based on reports in excerpts from Haberman’s new book, Confidence Man: The Making of Donald Trump and the Breaking of America. Trump insider Roger Stone expressed similar sentiments, in a tweet last year calling DeSantis a “Yale Harvard fat boy.”

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