Donald Trump unveils statues of Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum at Mar-a-Lago to celebrate Independence Day NewsThump

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Donald Trump is making sure everyone remembers the events of the first Independence Day by unveiling two new statues to celebrate the lives of the brave heroes who saved the world.

Standing outside his Mar-a-Lago resort, the President unveiled statues of two of the greatest heroes in American history, who became two fictional characters from a movie.

Captain Steven Hiller and David Levinson, all, the former President said, to a bewildered crowd that had gathered in the vain hope that he might now choose to say something meaningful.

Come on folks, how about a round of applause and a little respect? These fellas blew up aspaceship for you, you know.

To this day, I remain in awe of David Levinson’s ability to crack an alien signal on a Windows laptop. It’s quite something, folks, it really is.

And Captain Steven Hiller? He worked out how to successfully fly a UFO! I didn’t know black people were allowed to fly planes. It was a huge success, it really was.

Trump aide and fellow indicee, Chuck Williams, told us, Yeah, we know.

This is the tip of the iceberg. Yesterday he wanted to unveil a memorial plaque for all the lives lost at Nakatomi Tower.

He couldn’t tell the difference between movies and documentaries. For him, if it’s on television, it must be true. This is why him watching so much Fox News in the White House is a bad idea.

On the plus side, I can’t wait to show him Avatar. He will be shit through his eyes.

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