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WELLINGTON, OHIO (The Borowitz Report) Held his first campaign-style rally on the month, an impractical Donald J. Trump forgot to strand event attendees in a parking lot Saturday night.
Blaming the strand failure on the rally’s most rusty, a member of Trump’s inner circle has apologized for not delivering a signature feature of Trump’s rallies.
People expect that, by the end of one of our rallies, they will be lost in the middle of nowhere for hours, often in bad weather, said Harland Dorrinson, a Trump aide. On Saturday night, we didn’t finish it.
Dorrinson said the entire Trump team will conduct a postmortem of the rally to find out why attendees could leave the event without incident.
Saturday night was our first rally in a long time, and we didn’t have a fight, Dorrinson said. But there is no reason for that. I want to promise all future attendees: if you get to a Trump rally, you’ll be stranded for hours afterwards with no buses anywhere in sight.
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