Opinion | Bo Hines’s Banana Republic gaffe should start a new GOP fashion line

A lot of people have liked the situation going on right now, is, you know, they say were in a Banana Republic, he told radio host John Fredericks. I think thats an insult to Banana Republics across the country. I mean, at least the manager of Banana Republic, unlike our president, knows where he is and why hes there and what hes doing.

Hiness campaign retroactively labeled this a joke. Ha! I nearly split my pleated chinos.

Sorry, but that excuse is a total Lululemon. Misunderstanding a universal idiom, particularly while maligning President Bidens mental acuity, suggests Hines is just not very PetSmart. On an intelligence scale of 1 to 10, hes Five Below.

But this is the season for retail gaffes. The campaign of Mehmet Oz, Republican nominee for Senate from Pennsylvania, made a video of the candidate shopping at a Redners supermarket, which Oz misidentified as Wegners, apparently confusing it with Wegmans. He filled his arms with broccoli, asparagus, carrots, guacamole and salsa supermarkets have carts, Dr. Oz then, blaming Biden for high prices, complained: Thats $20 for the crudits and this doesnt include the tequila.

Milbank Funds: The GOP is sick. It didnt start with Trump and wont end with him.

Only a man who owns 10 houses (while claiming two) would refer to a veggie plate as crudits. And salsa for a veggie dip? Call the Gazpacho Police!

In fairness, there has been a bipartisan smorgasbord of grocery gaffes over the years: George HW Bushs magical encounter with a supermarket scanner, Dan Quayles defeat by a potato, John Kerry asking for Switzerland on his Philly cheesesteak, Barack Obama kvetching about the price of arugula at Whole Foods, Mitt Romney ordering a sub in hoagie country, Gerald Ford eating a tamale with the husk onand Sargent Shriver ordering a Courvoisier at a steelworker bar.

But, as is their wont, the MAGA Republicans turned up the gaffe volume to 11, ranging from smart people who say dumb things (as when Fox Newss Sean Hannity, in a segment mocking Bidens cognitive functioning, introduced Kellyanne Conway as Kellyanne Trump), to, well, other people who say dumb things (as when now-Sen. Tommy Tuberville, Republican of Alabama, claimed that the three branches of government are the House, the Senate and the executive).

Leading this confederacy of dunces is Herschel Walker, GOP Senate nominee from Georgia. He took the position that there are 52 states and asserted that the theory of evolution is wrong because, If that is true, why are there still bad luck? Think about it.

Then think about Walkers thoughts on the futility of fighting air pollution: Since we dont control the air, our good air decides to float over to Chinas bad air. So, when China gets our good air, their bad air moves over to our good air space.

Cleanup in the credit aisle!

George T. Conway III: Trump didn’t take the cookies. Nope. never. Why ask?

Still, young Bo Hines may have been onto something when he compared our current politics to a Banana Republic store.

The retailer is all about encouraging sedentary Americans to pretend they are 19th century explorers in safari tents or sailing ships, wearing pieces inspired by our history, a story of online vision and imagined journeys. Its clothes wink at our heritage.

Perhaps Banana Republic could offer some new styles that wink at the imagined journeys on which the MAGA Republicans propose to take America:

• The White-Nationalist Linen Line. Yearn for the days when White men alone ruled America? Then put your wardrobe through a Great Replacement and return to the hoop skirts, bodices and tail coats of yore.
• Style Station. As you report to the state on the activities of teachers, journalists and those who seek abortionsshow your fashion sense by wearing the jackboots, baggy trousers and belted military jackets popularized by the East German secret police.
• The Dezinformatsiya Line. Russian state television reports that it is worried for our agent Trump. Share the worry, visually, with a clothing line inspired by classic Cossack hats and babushka headscarves.
• The Giuliani Collection. As Trumps lawyer Rudy Giuliani becomes a target of a criminal investigation, his chief financial officer prepares for a guilty plea and top-secret government files are found in Trumps home, wear the crisp pinstripes and bold orange jumpsuits that define prison chic.

For Republicans, this new fashion branding would be on Target. In fact, its deeply rooted in the Anthropologie of a MAGA crowd gone bananas.