THON 2023 Pep Rally Superlative

Women’s lacrosse won gold at the Pep Rally THON 2023, but plenty of other teams have outstanding performances worthy of ~superlatives~. From hair clips to sequined jackets to kick straps, there’s no shortage of excitement to keep Bryce Jordan Center fans on their feet.

In typical Onward State fashion, we break down the best and worst of each team’s performance.

“Good Thing You Go First” Award: Women’s Volleyball

Perfect timing, women’s volleyball. Your choreography is great and the details on the hoodie are unforgettable. It’s a shame you changed into the same outfit as women’s soccer, but that’s okay because you went first.

The Human Worm Award: Men’s Golf

Congratulations to the male golfer for receiving the Human Worm award. We’re not really sure what to call your incredible shoulder move other than the Human Worm.

Lionettes Award: Women’s Gymnastics

“High School Musical” never lags behind, but the lack of originality detracts from the points of women’s gymnastics. Be true to your sport! When you pull up the kick line, leave it to the Lionettes and they’ll hand you flips.

Peter Mangione Award For Best Attitude: Men’s Lacrosse

Men’s soccer sass Peter Mangione is on the air for a men’s lacrosse appearance. Tank tops are usually a no-go, but loose brooches surprisingly pull the look off with a throwback theme. The strong ~stance~ and synchronized “hit people” moves are well done.

Justice for men’s lacrosse, fr.

“Ops We Did It Again” Award For Wearing the Same Uniform as Another Team in Consecutive Years: Women’s Soccer

Women’s soccer HIT achievements. Unfortunately, this is the second year in a row that the Big Ten Tournament champion has taken the stage wearing nearly the same outfit as the competitors.

Women’s soccer does have an epic transition from shadowless to shadow that caught the eye of BJC.

The Justin Timberlake Denim Award: Men’s Fencing

The compilations “Soulja Boy”, “Single Ladies”, and “Gangnam Style” are original and unexpected, giving the male sport of fencing an edge. Unfortunately, we think skinny jeans limit fencing performance. The mind is there, but the execution is lacking.

Best Theme: Women’s Golf

Women’s golf? More like Donna and Dynamos.

The women’s golf team takes the stage in matching bellbottoms and tees to the sound of ABBA. With messy hair, this crew received the Best Theme award for some serious planning and preparation.

Most Messed Up: Football

FINALLY!

We’re shocked it took so long for someone to play “Just Wanna Rock,” but we’re glad it was soccer. The choreography is chaotic and a little over the top but it still rocks the house.

Best Finishing Time: Women’s Lacrosse

Women’s lacrosse has been dubbed the champion of the 2023 Pep Rally, and for good reason. It’s worth mentioning that the team put up a 3pm battle, secured the win, and then went 2-0 up that day in the Pep Rally just hours later.

Everyone loves Taylor Swift remixes, good griddy, matching suits and worms. Missy Doherty’s gang doesn’t let the crumbs go.

“You Always Kill Anything” Award: Men’s Gymnastics

Bodies fly everywhere in the men’s gymnastics show. It was incredible.

These guys know how to breakdance and it makes me want to do core work for the next two hours until I can do push-ups in the air. We thought you were overlooked by the judges, men’s gymnastics.

Best Hugh Jackman impression: Field Hockey

We don’t think there’s much to explain here. However, while there were more than enough front flips throughout the Pep Rally, the women’s lacrosse had the ~best~ flip of the night.

First Loser Award: Men’s Soccer

Who doesn’t love a good prop? Even though tank tops are always in question, Peter Mangione, Femi Awodesu, and co. left everything on stage *twice* and solidified their reigning champion status.

Men’s soccer also features two THON dancers on stage. Sean Bettenhausen and Owen Elliott didn’t mention any tiredness and waved their towels like never before.

“Senior Competing On JV Award”: Lionettes

Despite the Lionettes kicking and dancing hot, they would never take home first prize. It’s like being a high school student who lost out on the JV. We see you. You did well. But we can’t give you gifts.