Recap Love Is Blind, Season 4, Episodes 9-11

Across town, the Marshalls hitched his suit while his fiancé caused deep trust issues that would affect him for the rest of his days. Tiffany (aka Deep Tiff) leaked the information that Jackies didn’t even try on the wedding dress with the others, and Marshall left. Woodward and Bernstein wish they had Tiffany’s investigative skills.

A few days later, Jackie told Marshall that yes, she was going to date Josh, and no, you couldn’t even get your ring back because it was a gift from production for providing drama. In a confession that followed, she said that she didn’t even know if she would ever date Josh and might need to do some work on her own. At least he’s self-aware! After that, Jackie completely disappeared. I need this reunion like I need water. And poor, poor Marshall. Obviously, she’s not perfect, but no one deserves to be conned by a guy who might be her favorite showOffice. At least he probably got thousands of women in his DMs looking forward to tasting his raspberry compote.

Meanwhile, Micah and Paul ignore Kwame’s problems once again. Scratch it; maybe it’s not Kwame’s problem, it’s just a matter of not liking each other that much. Many of their statements were not positive, they did not talk about what each other added to their lives, how afraid they were of losing each other. This was the kind of relationship that would fail after a year in the real world, but things sped up in the real world.Love is blindtimeline, even the complacency stage. Side note: Do we think Micah, of all people, would enjoy a handmade wedding band? He admitted to keeping only a forty of his clothes in Seattle. I really wish he meant 40 percent because I can’t imagine how big an Arizona apartment really is.

Zack and Bliss honestly didn’t look any better. They meet Zack’s family, who support this because Bliss is so out of it, and Bliss’ mother and sister, who support this because they really seem like such supportive and kind people (I admit, I cried a little when Bliss’s mother said she would be a mother to Zack too). But things take a turn for the worse when he meets Bliss’ father, who can’t stand that Zack isn’t a mini version of himself. He doesn’t care that Zack is passionate about criminal justice reform (OK, Zack! I see you!); why can’t he play golf or catch fish? The rest of the family sat there silently while Bliss’ father scolded anything and everything in sight: this process, Bliss and her sister feeling the man, Zack’s tiny baby hand (presumably). Bliss’ younger sister guards her aviator around the clock, making this conversation feel like a police interrogation. State vs. Goytowski ended in a draw. This had obviously happened before, so maybe Bliss didn’t care what her father thought. And, given all his family troubles, maybe Zack wouldn’t care that Malcolm’s father would rather have him marry a sea creature. Vegas has +12,000 odds.

Even Tiffany and Brett are feeling the pressure of having this season. During one scene, Tiffany is crying because of all the wedding planning, and sorry last week I accused you of not actually planning this event, Tiffany! But don’t worry, Brett took her on a seaplane to make her feel better and surprised her with a series of engagement photos I think were taken by AI but she actually took them herself. They met her friends and her sweet dad and brother, and everyone loved each other, and Tiffany loved Angus’ hair. Thank God because I don’t think we could handle an ounce of negativity in their story considering everything else happened in this episode.

Finally, Chelsea and Kwames’ problems continued to pile up. There’s a scene in the half empty shop where Chelsea keeps saying things like “I had a great time with you!” while Kwame keeps saying things like you’re being too confrontational. Sorry, if anything, Chelsea wasn’t confrontationalEnoughbecause of Kwame, didn’t you seduce Micahlast night? That’s what he should have said about you! They take a break from bickering to eat chocolate-covered strawberries in the half-empty shop, but Kwame keeps turning them down, probably because he’s the macro-counting kind of guy. He then once again brings up the subject of Portland and his beloved track, and Kwame, I don’t know how to tell you people in Seattle run too.

There’s also the issue of Kwame’s mother, who we’ve never seen or heard of, but haunts the series like a particularly stubborn ghost. When he picks up the phone, we can’t hear him, either because he’s clearly not signed off on the release of the filming or because this is an elaborate prank by Kwame to get out of his marriage. In one heart-wrenching scene, he tells Chelsea he can’t use his last name until his mother gives them permission. For someone who claims to be an independent adult who has pushed aside his mom issues, mom issues are definitely in the room with us right now.

While she’s certainly not perfect, Chelsea spearheads the pair’s positive moments in this episode. They met his extended (very blonde) family, who were very supportive and gave Kwame sweet pictures. She and Kwame did a boudoir shoot, a fantasy she seems to have had since childhood, something I can’t really put into words myself. At the bachelorette party, she becomes utterly outcast and spews out to everyone who will listen that their love story is like a beautiful slow dance. Across town, Kwame complains about how expensive Seattle is. At this point, even one of his friends was like,Guys, just marry her now; u never do better than this!!

Finally, it’s time for the wedding; naturally, rain at its disposal. I don’t know who planned the outdoor ceremony in Seattle. Chelsea is in the middle of a marital fantasy: She keeps crying over flowers, family and friends. Everything is pink, and everything is beautiful. Meanwhile, Kwame said he was considering booking a flight to Vegas. I’m so sick of his crimes! WHY ARE YOU EVEN GOING AT THIS SHOW IF YOU DON’T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!! Luckily, his siblings, Jerry and Barbara, came in and saved the day. Barb (who was wearing a gorgeous orange dress) basically told him she would kick his ass if he said no at the altar. He even gave Chelsea a clutch emblazoned with Kente cloth, which made her cry even more. WHERE WAS THE BARB BEFORE THIS?! We need it in pods and every group event after that. Take him to the reunion.

Kwame looks like he’s about to puke. Chelsea had written her oath, while of course she had not. He saysI am willing. Netflix hit us with a cliffhanger of all cliffhangers. Maybe this is all an elaborate fake, like the existence of Kwame’s mother.

Tiffany and Brett matched so well she knew exactly what the wedding dress looked like.

Zack brought up that he and Bliss share a love of owls and I Hope You Dance whenever he gets the chance. Also, his favorite saying is, Romeo and Juliet didn’t work out for some reason.While that’s a ridiculous sentiment, it’s probably accurate that both partners have had their fair share of miscommunication and familial resentment.

There’s no way to explainLove is blindfor your family without sounding crazy. They should provide them with video training like when you start a new job.

Why do we brush Kwames’ pet squirrel?

Also, does Kwame have any friends? If so, why have we never met them? At the fitting, we only meet his Pod Squad pal Jack, who is clearly dissatisfied with his amount of screen time.

Shelby wouldn’t pass up a shooting date or an opportunity to poke fun at Paul.

Is it just me, or are Nick and Vanessa less involved this season? How will they recognize the contestants at this live reunion?