7 Trans People Share Gender-affirming Clothing Items

I I am non-binary and transmasculine. This meant my transition to a more masculine presentation of gender. I take testosterone, but I’m not a man. And when I dropped out in 2016, my first stop wasn’t a consultation with a healthcare provider. I go to the mall.

Skinny jeans are still in their heyday for women’s fashion, and bomber jackets are having a serious moment in men’s fashion. I found an olive green bomber jacket that I love. I love the way it looks, sure, but more than that, I love the way I feel when I put the jacket on. Before going out, I often felt as if I was dressed in drag, pretending to be a woman. However, in this bomber jacket, I feel the opposite. I appear as myself, and that makes it feel great. This is my first sense of gender euphoria.

“Gender euphoria is when you feel ‘right’ in your gender—that your gender expression aligns with your sense of self,” says the therapist. Alyse Ruriani, LPCand author of Big Feeling Survival Guide. “[It] can evoke feelings of joy, happiness, joy, and calm, and is often seen as the opposite of gender dysphoria.” Gender dysphoria refers to the sad disconnect a trans person may feel from the sex they were assigned at birth.

“When trans people dress in a way that defines and expresses their gender, it can reduce gender dysphoria and increase euphoria, which can have a positive impact on their mental health.” —Alyse Ruriani, LPC

Transition looks different for every trans person. There are social transitions and medical transitions. Some trans people are binary and some are not. But clothes are something we all have in common. “When trans people are able to dress in a way that affirms and expresses their gender, it can reduce feelings of gender dysphoria and increase experiences of gender euphoria, which can have a positive impact on their mental health,” said Ruriani.

Early in my transition, I started liking clothes that gave me moments of gender euphoria. In many ways, it’s like building a closet from scratch. That bomber jacket I didn’t take with me when I moved to a warmer climate, but I have a lot of sentimentality associated with its memory, along with other clothing I found early in my transition.

These days, short sleeve button down is the most gender-defining thing I can wear. I like to button it up, as if I were going to wear a tie. My favorite short sleeves were a gift from my sister, and I wear them as often as I do the laundry. Colorful and busy, which are two adjectives I don’t always associate with menswear, even though I know my described personal style.

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In the seven years since I came out, my wardrobe has changed to better reflect my gender; clothing has helped change my life.

Oftentimes, trans people navigate their wardrobes by compromise, looking for clothes that hide our curves—or lack thereof, depending on the direction of transition. Dressing can feel like a game of avoidance. On the other hand, when we find a gender-affirming item of clothing, we experience that brilliant gender breakthrough. And if a trans person can find enough clothing that feels gender affirming, that’s not avoidance at all; it’s a celebration.

I recently asked seven other trans people what their most gender-defining outfits are. Like me, many have memories and emotions tied to their most convincing outfits. Here are the pieces of clothing they want to celebrate to evoke gender euphoria:

1. Stormie Daie (she), Durham, North Carolina

When I asked Daie, a black queer nonbinary trans drag queen, about her favorite outfit that generates gender euphoria, she immediately replied: “Heels, duh.” Apart from performing in drag, she also works as a community outreach coordinator.

Heels are a symbol of performance, just as a shield is a symbol of protection, he said. Her favorite pair of heels are holographic thighs, which are hard and—most importantly—tall. Ideal heel height, he says, helps him channel She-Hulk’s strength and power.

2. Xiaomin Xue (he), Austin, Texas

Xue’s favorite piece of clothing was a bit of a shock to her old self. After years of shunning jeans, the trans sous chef says jeans have not only become a wardrobe staple, they define gender. The fit of jeans used to make her dysphoric, but she’s in a different place now with her gender transition. When she tried on jeans again recently on a whim, she had a blast doing it. “It’s such a great feeling to adapt to something like that [once] made me very uncomfortable,” Xue said.

To find a certain type of sex-affirming dress after a period in which it produces dysphoria is not only exciting but often a relief. Clothing is a necessity, so when an entire category of clothing makes someone dysphoric, it’s limiting. When a trans person finds gender-affirming clothing, the result is not just a confidence boost, but a way to make everyday life easier.

3. Lindz Amer (they/they), New England

Ameri, writer Rainbow Parenting: Your Guide to Raising Queer Children and Their Allies, discovered their love of overalls during the pandemic and now own seven pairs. “I dealt with a lot of body dysphoria pre-surgery, and overalls are the most comfortable thing I wear around the house,” they say. “I started collecting them.”

Initially, their favorite overalls were a pair of white Dickies, which they wore to their little Town Hall wedding. Afterward, they paid a friend to dye the overalls, changing them from wedding white to rainbow. Today, overalls are a colorful Pride accessory and a tool for gender-defined expression.

4. Riley Black (he/they/that), Salt Lake City

“I don’t feel like myself if I’m not wearing a collar,” says Black. “I guess it’s been that way since before I started hormones.”

Black, a trans woman, is a paleontologist and science writer, and her relationship with her collar goes beyond gender euphoria. She is a survivor of childhood and marital abuse, two types of abuse trans people are more likely to be submissive. His marriage ends with his ex-wife leaving to be with a cis woman, signaling to him that she doesn’t look like she feels.

“To [my ex]I do not [a woman],” said Black. “And it was in that moment, when I started asking myself who I was and what I wanted to be. I feel the urge to have some kind of totem that will remind me that I am my own.” It was then that Black found his first necklace. Now she has several collars—some for special occasions, some for everyday use. To him, they signify resilience. “I can’t change what I’ve been through, but the collar is a reminder that I chose myself and what I want for my life and my body.”

5. Bren F (mirror pronoun), Seattle

Bren F uses any pronoun or mirror pronoun, meaning whatever pronoun you use for yourself. Bren works as a graphic designer and also runs strange research library. Bren’s gender is odd, which they think everyone just needs to know.

When I asked which baseball cap they pointed to as an item of clothing they associated with gender euphoria, they cited “the euphoric memories it brings.” They later explained that the hat was a $3 thrift store find on summer vacation when they came out to a friend as bisexual.

“It was a beautiful journey; I felt safe and accepted and understood for the first time in my life. This hat is in all the photos from that trip because I wear it every day.” Bren thinks the reason why baseball caps are so important to them is that they are androgynous and practical, two adjectives they would use to describe their own gender.

6. nat raum (they), Baltimore, Maryland

An MFA student and graduate assistant Raum describes herself as a femme Agender who self-identifies as transmasculine. Their gender-defining piece of clothing is an odd classic: flannel.

For raum, the euphoria of flannel isn’t so much about the clothes themselves, but the memories they evoke. “I had just gotten out of a bad relationship and started exploring my transness and questioning my gender more openly, so this was a time that really changed me,” they said. This particular flannel was an early pandemic buy, but years later, it’s still holding up. “I have a lot of things in my cupboard that give me euphoria, but this is definitely the most euphoric, and also a first,” said raum.

7. Rochelle Kelly (she/they), Philadelphia

Kelly owed their dad her most gender-defining outfit: one of her old work shirts. They tell me that they don’t explore gender identity when they inherit—at least, not consciously. “At the time, I was really worried about being the fat kid trying to get through school, so I was like, ‘What can I wear that won’t look too much or look too much attention?’”

Now, years later, Kelly’s wardrobe choices aren’t about hiding. “I found a whole community of other nonbinary black women who were like, ‘We’re nonbinary, but our connection to womanhood is still precious! And that’s where I was,” Kelly said. “”For me, [gender euphoria is about] look in the mirror and feel like everything is perfectly aligned. Inside, outside, it’s there. You have no questions.”