Josh Freed: Now that my mustache is trendy, time to break new ground?

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Uh-oh, I might be trendy, after all.

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Based on latest story what time of year, mustaches are hot, with many Hollywood stars now flaunting them.

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That’s good news, as I’ve worn a mustache for decades, the latest example in my life as a pioneer in men’s hair fashion.

As you may have noticed from my attached photos, I have hair problems or problem hair, as we said today. The top of my head is so smooth you can roll dough on it, my dome is so exposed it causes glare.

I helped pioneer this look in my early McGill days, decades before shiny hairless male heads were fashionable. Like many men with damaged hair, I battled it for several years, sticking my side strands over the shrunken top that Quebecers once called Lvesque-ing your hair.

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When my Lvesque hair separation crisis became hopeless, I looked for another solution. Finally, I convinced CBC to let me do a TV documentary on Pursuit of the Hirsute.

For this film, I traveled to North America to test countless miracle products, from Hair-in-a-Hurry powder to today’s cream, tomorrow’s hair cream.

In California, I was electrocuted, blasted with cathode rays and tried a miracle hormone that supposedly grows hair on some heads at times.

In Pennsylvania, I visited a famous hair wizard whose farm was Lourdes for bald pilgrims seeking the safety of the hair strands.

He covered my head in a 22-ingredient concoction brewed in a Seagrams whiskey barrel, then rubbed in a secret potion: bear oil that’s supposed to make you hairy like a grizzly.

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But it proved more like empty oil.

Fortunately, by then I had discovered that being bald had its advantages. My hair never gets soaked in the rain, and most of my hair falls out before it turns gray. Also, I saved good luck on the haircut estimated at over $12,000 over a lifetime.

Instead, I compensated by growing a shaggy beard, the methadone of a world of hairless heads. It gives me something to run my fingers seriously contemplatively.

Plus, I’ve always found shaving with an old silver razor to be dangerous, so I don’t miss all the bloody toilet paper stuck to the razor cuts on my face.

Gradually, I became attached to my hairy face, mostly as more hair was lost and my beard weighed on my head.

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Over the years, I’ve experimented with a variety of beard styles: the mustache-less Solzhenitsyn look, Lenin’s spiky beard, Castro’s bushy beard, and the long, skinny mountain man beard and mustache.

By the late 90s, shaved and polished men’s heads had been copying me and in style, so I had many friends on our streets who were increasingly hair-free. But the beard as decoration of the face is still there, so I look fashionable like Santa Claus.

Finally, around 2010 the hipster beard became the new exciting look on many celebrity faces, such as Russell Crowe, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and every major star except Madonna.

But it was too late for me. Just as my bald and bearded appearance finally came into view, my facial hair started turning gray. Staring in the mirror one day, I knew I had a choice: gray beard or no beard?

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So I buzzed my hair, shaved my beard and said: Hallelujah, I’m shaved!

However, I left the mustache alone because the patch of fuzz above my lip always grows at a geologically slow rate. It took decades for it to grow back, and I wasn’t ready to make a hasty decision about my moustache.

When I first got rid of my beard, it was a shock to see my now mustachioed but bare face. That’s partly because my lovely (bald) dad has worn a mustache his whole life, so when I shaved and looked in the mirror, I was like: Wow! Hello, dad!

However, my son Daniel was so traumatized he covered his eyes and refused to see me for several days. He wanted his own father back, but I loved the odd, slightly goofy mustache look, and eventually my son reluctantly accepted me back as Dad.

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But hardly anyone else noticed that I had removed my beard. Most people just say: you look different. Are you growing a mustache? although I’ve had it for over 20 years.

It turns out that people pay more attention to the presence of something than to the absence of something else. Other friends say you look like a cop, because that is the only environment where mustaches are in vogue.

Now, years later, the mustache is finally having its moment, and many people are adopting the look that isn’t serious. According to lifestyle expertswere in the era of the strong mustache, with everyone from pop legends Justin Bieber and Harry Styles to TV star Jacob Elordi wearing them.

With a glittering head and moustached lips, will I be stylish in the end?

Hmm with everyone bald, bearded and moustached, maybe it’s time to try something different again. Maybe I will finally try to grow hair?

I just have to find bear grease.

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