The hard decisions are the most important in the fight against cancer

I was recently asked if I had had difficult conversations with friends or family members about my cancer experience.

The answer is not really; I was very lucky that everyone in my corner was incredibly understanding and supportive, every step of the way.

The hardest conversation I’ve had on my experience/healing journey, actually with myself.

This subsided in late 2017, after cancerous nodules resurfaced in both my lungs for the second time – my fourth recurrence of osteosarcoma since being diagnosed in 2016. My oncologist then shared that the five-year survival rate was lower at 10%, and told me that without treatment I would die. He proposed a clinical trial with extremely painful side effects and a 30% success rate.

I did some research and after thinking about it, I just felt that it wasn’t going to save my life. Studies have shown that after initial success, the cancer usually returns. Not to mention there is a quality of life issue with the drug inflicting constant bouts of extreme pain.

Despite my concerns, it was literally the only option on the table. All other hospitals rated my current medical team as the best in the industry and relayed the same opinions.

Literally operating on blind faith, I trusted my instincts and maintained the belief that success was still possible. I started studying other cancer fighters who had successfully cured themselves with diets and strategies outside the realms of conventional medicine. The more I learned, the more these holistic approaches appealed to me.

I remember discussing my feelings at one point with my family. I half expected them to tell me that I was crazy for not listening to the doctors and even considering embarking on my own healing journey. Instead, they looked me in the eye and told me they believed in me, and if that was the direction my heart said was right, they were all for it.

On the one hand, it was incredibly relieving to know that they understood and supported where I came from. But I also felt a ton of pressure! No expert showed me the way… I was swimming in the dark and hoping for a miracle. Even as I type this today, I shudder as I remember how terrifying this situation was to experience on a daily basis. The sheer magnitude of the pressure. And yet, there was something exhilarating about following my instincts and betting on myself.

During the following months, I made the choice to space out the appointments at the hospital and to delay the examinations. This may sound incredibly risky, but I thought that without the right plan in place (they said surgery would only lead to more recurrences) injecting more radiation into my body would only accelerate the damage – I Was there for a long time gambling and intended to find a lasting healing approach. That’s not to say I didn’t have my panicky moments along the way, but I thought I was doing my best.

Every day I kept researching and experimenting with different techniques. I met a wide variety of medical experts (both conventional and alternative) and picked their brains, learning all the angles. Then, rather than taking advice from just one person, I digested all the information and formed my own path. It was an incredible lesson for me in the value of being my own advocate.

Last November, I surpassed the five-year survival rate mark. I have officially defied the statistics and now have the luxury of inspiring and helping other cancer fighters. Anyone with questions, drop me a note at [email protected] and I always seek to support the community.

And remember, sometimes the hardest decisions are hard because the right answer is the hard way, the terrifying way – the way, where if you actually stopped and thought about going that way, you might get really freaked out and overwhelmed… But take the comfort of knowing you don’t have to see the whole staircase from the start. Just take one step at a time, operating in faith and making conscious adjustments based on what life gives you, and the rest of the journey will reveal itself.

If my story teaches nothing else, it’s that the toughest decisions can be the most important decision of your life. So whatever you do, be sure to follow your heart.

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