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If we’ve learned anything from apocalypse movies about zombies over the years, it’s that the real threat to your life is running out of food. You need food to have the energy to build a shelter or mental clarity to escape the screeching brain. Or, in the event of an earthquake, persistence unaccompanied and watered for a few days.
So while it might seem a little silly to pack a batch full of foods meant to keep you not only alive but happy while you eat, I think it goes a long way in the optimism department to trick yourself into feeling a little better when forced to eat amid a disaster [insert crying-while-smiling emoji].
With this assignment, I am sharing with you what you should pack in your Cooking Tool Kit. These are the items that fit all the guidelines for safe eating during an earthquake, and they include a few things that will help both canned and cold foods cut back a little better.
First, let’s talk about canned goods – which should be the bulk of your food supply because food is already cooked and contains moisture, which is important when trying to conserve drinking water. Canned vegetables of all kinds are fine here, but choose the ones you know you’re going to eat – if you’ve never tried canned asparagus, this is not the time to experiment.
I can eat black beans, cream corn, canned peaches, and sweet potatoes straight out of the can—cold—any normal day of the week and be happy, so I know that’s what it’s going to be in my country. But instead of regular beans, I’ll probably get the ones with added aromatics and spices because I won’t be able to add fresh beans. There is also canned soup, of course, but for no logical reason, it seems to me that it is too frustrating to eat those cold from the can instead of mixing something myself. Instead, grab the baked beans, chili, and refried beans—all staples available in a variety of flavors—to seize the opportunity to indulge in that part of you that’s always been curious about how it tastes.
And you can’t talk about cans without mentioning spam. Yes, if you wish, you should put it in your collection. However, I can’t replace it with a lot of canned fish and seafood like oiled tuna, sardines, mackerel, and white anchovies. You want your canned protein to be somewhat fatty, which are all of those options, so you don’t run out of fuel. Stay away from crabs or clams – something about eating people at room temperature just doesn’t look good, even in a natural disaster scenario. But if you can get yourself some good smoked mussels, you won’t feel sorry.
Updated June 11, 2021 | 5:15 pm
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After canned goods, the next priority is dried foods because they are shelf stable and can be kept in almost any condition. I’m a head jerky so I already have a lot of different styles—venison with black pepper, salmon with brown sugar, and bison with cranberry sauce—at the ready. I also want to make sure I have plenty of dried fruits on hand, especially dried dates, apricots, cranberries, raisins, prunes, mangoes, and figs – the richer and more chewy, the better.
And while you might only think about meals after the earthquake, as any park will tell you, you’ll still need snacks. Include your favorite crackers, granola and even some chocolate bars. A bowl of nut butter may seem like a luxury, but it’s probably the most energy-efficient food you can keep. A layer of oil on top will also keep them fresher than whole nuts, which, unless vacuum packed, will spoil in your batch quickly. Pair it with a bowl of jam and you’ll have a zero-carb PB&J on the spoon whenever you need it. Or, you know, spread it on a rice cake.
Now, here’s where things get a little dummy. While these items may not be necessary, if you have the means and space in your kit, I recommend keeping them in place, again, to keep your spirits up while you eat: a small bottle of olive oil, your favorite vinegar, some hot sauce, bear of honey, soy sauce, a small bag of sea salt or a tagine – even a spice blend like togarashi or dukkah. Sprinkle a little oil and vinegar on those canned beans. Dip the dried dates in two tagines. Put a little vinegar on the bacon. Come day 3 or 4 eating the same thing, believe me, you’ll be glad you got these. (They’ll also come in handy to create any “recipes” from your judgments, like the ones here.)
Finally, give yourself permission to eat all the junk food you want. It’s not perfect, but you’re also trying to survive a natural disaster, so cut some slack (time to survive, don’t worry about gaining weight). We’ve all had those days in airports when the only thing we ate for 24 hours was unsalted aisle mix, dry cookies and sports drinks, so you know you can get past that.
Restock your set at each expiration date cycle with your favorite “fun pack” of chips, an Oreo tray or a can of Chicken in Biscuits (you know the real ones) and for once in your life, eat the things that make you pure fun. Once the lights and water come on, you can put yourself back together and experience the joys of eating fresh vegetables again.
Do not forget:
A can opener (your most valuable new gadget) A fork, spoon, and bowl for each member of your family A knife and a small cutting board (just in case) Instant coffee, tea, evaporated milk, or dry milk and packets of sugar You still want caffeine, even in the end) Stuff Crunchy to dip into all those soft packaged foods, like crackers and pita chips
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