Ask Amy: But we have Notre Dame football tickets that day and other hilarious wedding mishaps

Dear Readers: With the return of the wedding season upon us and in-person Celebrations, I decided to devote a column to the wedding mishaps all sent in by Readers.

Perhaps reading about some of the things that can go wrong at a wedding will inspire people to avoid these pitfalls.

And if these incidents can’t be avoided, marrying couples can try to embrace them and laugh about it all later.

So take your seat at the singles table and enjoy!

Dear Amy: My brother got married at our house in front of a bay window with a magnificent view of the Concord River.

Halfway through the ceremony, his stoner friend from high school arrived in a canoe, stumbled ashore, and wobbled his way up the yard in full view of the guests. Hilarious backdrop!

I Was Sober

Dear Amy: My long-ago boyfriend invited me as his plus one.

Once we got there it was obvious that he was invited Solo, as there was no table card for me.

My father once said, Theres always someone at a wedding who shouldnt be there. In that instance it was me!

Plus One

Dear Amy: My two brothers-in-law offered to be our Photographers for our wedding.

My Sisters had each just had their firstborns.

There were a few photos of my husband and me, but now were their little darlings.

The other photos were of my husbands buxom cousin in her Revealing cleavage. Sigh.

Busted

Dear Amy: The first song at my uncles second wedding: David Lee Roths cover of Just a Gigolo.

And the brides Uncle later had a coronary while dancing the polka.

Danced Out

Dear Amy: My friend and her date Sheila were Heavily making out on the dance floor; Sheila later hit on multiple other (married) guests and then told my mom how hot she thought the groom was.

My mom replied: Yes, thats my new son-in-law.

Good Times

Dear Amy: An unsupervised child at my wedding was running around and ran into a door. Got a nosebleed. The mother went to my father (father of the bride) to demand the Venues wedding Coordinator be fired for negligence. They stormed out when my dad refused.

(The child was fine, by the way!)

Still Married

Dear Amy: We were letting immediate family members know the date Wed finally chosen for our wedding before booking vendors.

My parents said, but we have Notre Dame football tickets that day.

We tried other dates, but they all interfered with their football ticket schedule.

We don’t talk anymore.

Fighting Irish

Dear Amy: I locked the keys in a running limo in front of the church (in the 80s), which meant needing a phone book and the Ministers office phone to frantically find a locksmith.

Locked Out

Dear Amy: I was a member of a flash mob at the reception. Short version of the story: Another member of the mob couldnt kick as high as they thought he could (due to overly tight suit pants), and ended up kicking the bride in the head. Everyone was fine.

We Have Video!

Dear Amy: In my 20s I was in a friends wedding. A bunch of us rented a room together. I woke up in the middle of the night with a pounding head, so I drank a glass of water.

It was a groomsmans contact lens solution and his lenses.

Tastebuds are 20/20

Dear Amy: Our rabbi thought our noon wedding was at 6 pm Luckily, one of our guests found a replacement rabbi who stopped by to marry us on his way to a funeral he was officiating.

Our marriage has lasted for 28 years.

Dear Amy: My college roommate wanted a child-free wedding, but her family pitched a fit that children wouldn’t be included.

At the reception, one niece ran circles around the room, and then vomited on the herself on the dais at the front of the room during the meal.

I Wont Have What Shes Having

Dear Amy: The brides mom caught my buddy and his date in a delicate position in the bridal suite (and neither were at the wedding party).

Cant Unsee That

Dear Amy: My best friends (drunk) Uncle officiated at his wedding.

Drunk Uncle cleared his throat, produced a page hed ripped out of his hotel rooms Bible, and began.

Gideons Way

Dear Amy: On the receiving line at my wedding, one of the guests told me, If I had known you didnt have a nice dress, I would have lent you mine.

Dressed Down

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.