When you have a global pandemic, you blame it all on the virus

[ad_1]

You are probably more likely to see a penguin swimming in the Adriatic than to see me waiting in a doctor’s office. Even though my whole family works, in one form or another, for the health care system I avoid everything that has to do with white coats like a vampire avoids a ray of sunshine.

So when I found myself sitting and waiting outside the doctor’s door this week, I was on uncharted territory.

It’s not that I don’t trust the doctors here, far from it. Every experience I have had personally with the hospital or the nursing staff in general has been top notch, I have no complaints even the food was edible. It is clear that we now need to invest in infrastructure, but the staff are doing a great job. So as I waited to see a doctor, there had to be something wrong, and something that neither I nor Google could fix.

The older you get the more things start to fall

You come to a certain age and you start to worry that things will start to fall. I guess the human body is like a car. The more kilometers there are on the odometer, the greater the risk of breakdown.

I had had this horrible cough for ten days. Every morning my body tried to eject my lungs from the rest of my body. Luckily that didn’t work out, but he did manage to throw out a whole mix of rather nasty stuff. But let’s not get into that now.

“Are you sure it’s not Covid?” my wife said. This is one of the problems when you have a global pandemic you blame it all on the virus. Did the Covid kill everything else? I was 99% sure I could rule out the virus, but just to keep the peace at home I tested myself. Being doubly vaccinated, I knew there was a good chance it wasn’t the virus, and since I had no other symptoms, I was even more sure.

“It’s like a pregnancy test,” my wife said. “Do you stick a pregnancy test in your nose then?” ” I laughed. Negative! I was neither HIV positive nor pregnant!

My energy levels were low, I would wake up with a 20% battery level and after a few hours I would need a recharge. Of course, I would wake up every morning hoping that I would be better so that I wouldn’t have to see a doctor.

When you’re sick, Google finishes you off!

Google killed me! As I typed in the symptoms I was having, I was greeted with a whole range of possible illnesses, from cancer to pneumonia and yes of course Covid-19. I don’t know why I even ask Google, I know I shouldn’t, but my curiosity takes over every time.

A week went by and my cough was still throwing a bucket full of sticky stuff out of my body. If you want to become a social leper in one step, start coughing uncontrollably in a supermarket. I had people looking at me like I was a mass murderer. I thought about printing a T-shirt – “I don’t have Covid just a terrible cough.”

Despite swallowing a cocktail of syrups and homemade concoctions, it seemed like something stronger was needed, something I couldn’t get without a prescription.

“So what symptoms do you have? Asked the sympathetic doctor. I let out an almighty cough, “that!” She smiled. More questions followed, then listening to my lungs that I had presumed to be barely alive.

Some tapping into his computer and the blessed words you want him from any doctor, “You look good.” Sure, bed rest and stronger syrup were recommended, but the good news was I was on the road to recovery. “You probably won’t be running a marathon anytime soon, but you’re doing fine,” she added. It was good for me because I never intended to run a marathon. I said goodbye, not planning to see the doctor (knock on wood) for the foreseeable future.

I swallowed the syrup and did as the doctor ordered and went to bed, doctor’s best advice.

And just to cheer me up, here is my favorite medical joke, a short history of medicine – “Doctor, my head hurts.” – 2000 BC AD – “Here, eat this root. “- 1000 BC -” This root is a devil, say this prayer. ” – AD 1850 – “This prayer is a superstition, drink this potion.” – 1940 AD – “This potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.” – 1985 AD – “This pill doesn’t work, take this antibiotic.” – 2000 AD – “This antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!

Read more English in Dubrovnik… well, if you really want to

[ad_2]