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“Listen and be open, but don’t let anyone tell you who you are.”
These are the first words of a tweet from Jeff Bezos that has finally gone viral. It also inspired one of the most read stories in this column of the year, which focused on how to reap the rewards of criticism, without letting it define you.
“People who are very right listen a lot, and they change their minds a lot,” Bezos said in an interview. “They wake up and analyze things again and change their minds. If you don’t change your mind frequently, you will be very wrong. People who are very right want to dismiss their basic biases.”
This is why it is so important to be open to criticism. But what if the criticism attacks your core beliefs, the very essence of who you are?
By urging readers to “don’t let anyone tell you who you are,” Bezos encourages a balanced view of criticism. Yes, listen and be open to change. But don’t be tempted to give in to enemies, become something you’re not, or change your core beliefs just to please others.
Because criticism can be a diamond in the rough or a bunch of fool’s gold. Determine what can make the difference between success and failure.
Facebook attacks Apple, Tim Cook retaliates
What happens when an unstoppable force hits a stationary object?
In a speech at a conference in Brussels to mark International Data Protection Day earlier this year, Apple CEO Tim Cook went on the offensive against Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook. Cook’s speech appeared to be a direct response to Facebook’s attack on Apple, in which the world’s largest social network ran full-page ads in multiple newspapers attacking Apple’s new privacy changes.
Apple’s decision signaled major lessons for entrepreneurs and business owners, including the need to ask:
What philosophy do I want to pursue?
Do I want a business that serves my customers? Or the one who takes advantage of customers to serve my business?
Only one of these philosophies is viable in the long term. The other will lead you to crash and burn. And while the long-term solution may initially prove more difficult, as Cook said in his speech:
“The path of least resistance is seldom the path of wisdom.”
The simple (and brilliant) 4-word rule from a respected MIT professor
When MIT professor Patrick Winston gave a talk, he had a famous “rule of engagement” in four words. It was a non-negotiable policy, and while simple, it’s a rule hardly anyone follows today, and it makes it extremely valuable.
Winston’s class rule? No laptops. No mobiles.
“Some people ask why [this] is a rule of engagement, ”says Winston. “The answer is that we humans only have one language processor. And if your language processor is engaged … you’re distracted. And, even worse, you distract all the people around you. Studies have shown it. “
He continues, “And even worse, if I see a laptop open somewhere over there, or here, it drives me crazy!”
Winston is right, of course, and his rule is backed by years of scientific research.
Learn more here about the psychology behind its rule and why you should adopt it.
Taylor Swift Master Class in Emotional Intelligence
The pop megastar made headlines earlier this year when she released Fearless (Taylor’s Version), a new take on the hit album that catapulted her to stardom.
The project was the culmination of a years-long battle in which Swift claims she was “stripped of [her] my life’s work ”, when his former label, Big Machine, along with the main recordings of his first six albums, were sold to a powerful music director (and Swift’s nemesis), Scooter Braun.
But Swift’s new album was more than a wise business decision. It’s a signal to artists and content creators around the world of a major shift in the balance of power. And at the center of the story is a brilliant lesson in emotional intelligence:
Instead of dwelling on what you can’t change, focus on what you can.
Read more here about what you can learn from Swift taking matters into your own hands.
The number one question from Google CEO Sundar Pichai
As CEO of Google and Alphabet, it’s Sundar Pichai’s job to ensure his businesses keep moving forward, continuing to meet the demands of millions of users and customers to worldwide.
It is not an easy task. But earlier this year, Pichai shared with me just one question that helps her remember her role. He learned about the matter from his mentor, former Columbia University football coach turned business coach Bill Campbell.
Whenever they met, Pichai said, Campbell would ask him:
“What ties have you broken this week? “
Campbell wasn’t talking about severing ties as severing relationships. Rather, he was teaching Pichai that he had to break the deadlock.
Pichai says he still asks this question today.
If you own a business or lead a team, you can use this question to help you:
Prioritize those you want to please Pursue progress, not perfection See the big picture
Because leadership gets things done.
When a customer begins to take control of your life
What happens when a customer begins to demand much more than is reasonable?
This is the question that small business owner Larionne Mariah faced. Her client started berating her for taking too long to respond to messages. When Mariah said her fees did not include 24/7 monitoring of her messages, the client asked for “full attention.”
His answer ? She reimbursed the client’s expenses and recommended moving to another designer.
As an entrepreneur or business owner, you may find it difficult to find this work-life balance. Not to mention the pandemic which has further blurred these lines for many.
This is what makes this lesson so important: start setting limits, or others will set them for you.
If you don’t set limits, you are on the road to burnout. In contrast, setting and communicating expectations can save your business and your sanity.
CEO listens to criticism and corrects course
When Sweetgreen CEO Jonathan Neman tried to strike up a conversation about issues with systemic health care, he didn’t expect his comments to go viral. And he certainly did not imagine that what he was saying would be considered controversial.
But after listening to the reviews, Neman apologized to staff, followed by a broader apology on LinkedIn.
And while it wasn’t perfect, it provided a great case study on how emotional intelligence works in the real world.
Neman did three things well:
1. He started a conversation.
The takeaway: Humility doesn’t mean that you lack self-confidence or that you never stand up for your own opinions or principles. Rather, it means recognizing that you don’t know everything and being prepared to learn from others.
Because high emotional intelligence doesn’t mean you’re perfect. But it’s how you deal with these mistakes that will determine how emotionally intelligent you are.
(If you enjoyed these lessons, be sure to sign up for my free Emotional Intelligence course, and every day for 10 days you’ll get a rule designed to help you make emotions work for you, rather than against you. .)
The opinions expressed here by the columnists of Inc.com are theirs and not those of Inc.com.
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