Fifty things NOT to say to black people

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Black people are usually exposed to harmful speech, even by those who, for all other purposes, are anti-racist. Odessa Hamilton has developed an informal online survey to hear from black people the kind of comments they’ve heard first-hand from non-black people. She captured 101 separate comments and presents here the 50 most hateful or recurring. She says that while painful on both sides, honest conversations are needed.

We rarely talk about how segregation in Britain (geographically, but also about social structures and a curriculum that emphasizes Eurocentric ideals as normative) turns into cultural ignorance. An ignorance that can restrict genuine and respectful relationships between black and non-black individuals. This can create embarrassment and unease in interactions that can hurt, offend, or just utter confusion about the legitimacy of the question, and whether it comes from a sincere place of ignorance or is intended entirely as a racial slur.

The putative prevalence of this problem prompted me to create an informal 12-hour online survey to quantify and qualify the experiences of a small but diverse selection of black people in Britain. Contributors were male and female professionals, ages 22-60, middle or working class, African American, Caribbean, Latino or Eastern, Western or South African. Eligible responses were first-hand; made by non-black people. The results included 101 unique entries; omitting those of an explicit nature. For the sake of brevity, we report the 50 most staggering.

While I initially laughed at some of the experiences shared, my reaction ultimately reflected an internal unease at their sheer absurdity and demonstrated neglect of the real experiences of black people in Britain. Surprisingly, despite noticeable racial undertones, many contributors added that much of what was said came from the most unexpected people; who, for all intents and purposes, were educated, kind, and even actively anti-racist. There was also evidence of message uptake, echoing mainstream media content and scientific discourse on societal inequalities.

On the whole, contributors shared a difficulty in approaching this manner of composed and direct speech, as they seemed bizarrely innocent, or had comedic intentions, and yet were extremely odd and grossly misinformed. It embodies the common misconception that people have to be racist to say or do racist things. Additionally, it is difficult to respond to offensive comments without offending the original aggressor, and so often the seriousness of the situation goes unnoticed and inappropriate comments linger.

While some tropes may resonate with other ethnic communities, this is a small step toward clarifying what is wrong to be said to black people (even in satire). Regardless of race, most will have the human capacity to appreciate the absurdity and, to some degree, the farce of this terrain of insults that black people are forced to traverse. Some readers may be alarmed by what is yet to come, so take a deep breath, relax…then imagine experiencing it every day!

Appearance

1. You are really pretty for a black girl.

2. Are your lips real?

3. You’re like a black black!

4. May I touch your hair? (OR they rush without asking).

5. You are so lucky to have a natural tan.

6. I didn’t realize black people could have real eyebrows.

7. You’re not black, you must be mixed with something, because you’re so fair-skinned.

8. Any “colorful” descriptor (I’m not a box of crayons).

Education

9. You speak so well.

10. You are really very smart.

11. Who taught you to speak English?

12. Do you know so many words?

13. Wow, you got into Oxford, were you a diversity candidate?

14. Don’t look for race; you will end your career before it has even begun.

15. Are you the first in your family to be educated?

16. You don’t look black at all.

17. Teach me some slang.

Job

18. We can’t attract or keep black employees, it’s like they don’t want to work.

19. I’m SO sorry I didn’t think you worked here (after calling security).

20. You should meet X, you will REALLY get along (both being black).

21. I like your straight hair; it looks so much more professional.

22. How do you earn your money? (I work like everyone else).

23. We’ll answer it, but just be careful not to play the “Race Card” (after reporting a racial incident).

24. I like you! You are amazingly professional.

25. You could definitely pass as one of “us.”

26. You must be struggling through COVID (responding to inequality stats).

Identity

27. Do you have a mom AND a dad?

28. Are you from Africa or Jamaica?

29. You are a good mix (like a cockerpoo or a labradoodle).

30. Do you snack on dry bones?

31. Where are you really from?

32. Can black people really be Muslims?

33. Do you eat with your hands at home?

34. Can we just use your initials?

35. It smells funny… What are you eating?

36. I was so shocked to see black Jews on TV.

37. (Siobhan, Saoirse and Leigh keep their names but…) Your name is too hard to pronounce, so I’m going to call you X (typically a westernized adaptation).

Weird

38. Do you have any weed?

39. Why can’t black people swim?

40. Have you been in prison, even for a short time?

41. What color is your blood?

42. How can I be racist, my X is black?

43. Yo my G/N*****! (or other Ebonics attempts).

44. I feel sorry for my ancestors (when you just wanted a coffee).

45. Do you have cars where you are from?

46. ​​What’s going on in Africa? (I’m not a journalist)

47. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have black skin.

48. I think black people are really cool. (All Blacks, Everywhere?).

49. I see no color.

50. Why “Black Lives Matter” – Don’t All Lives Matter? (Are all lives undervalued?)

After reaching the end – mostly unscathed – try to disentangle these comments from blatant racist slurs. It’s uncomfortable and not easy. Adherence to points of view is not expected, but rather alignment with these shared experiences, as we take preliminary steps toward honest and respectful dialogues that challenge these obscure messages.

♣♣♣

Remarks:

This blog post represents the opinions of the authors, not the position of LSE Business Review or the London School of Economics. Featured Image by Ayo Ogunseinde on Unsplash When you leave a comment you agree to our Comments Policy.

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