I’m sorry for having spoiled my daughter but she has become intolerable

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Growing up, I didn’t realize my parents were rich. We had a nice house and a vacation, but I went to the local school and did chores for my pocket money. While my parents were generous, they were cautious. If I wanted something they would help me if I saved up for it, from a Barbie castle to my first (very old) car. Although an only child, I have never been spoiled.

I wish I could say the same about my daughter, even if I blame myself.

My mother died suddenly nine years ago and my father lost interest in life and died a year after her. I was derailed by grief and it was a double shock to realize how much money they had left me, I had absolutely no idea how rich they were.

My husband and I have good jobs and were reasonably well off, but this was in a different league and I took it a bit too far. We bought four cars, moved into a mansion, and I went designer crazy. My husband was thrilled to have some financial freedom and a nice car, but that was it. Our son was in much the same situation: he had just finished his studies and he took it all in stride, enjoying being at university without having to take out a loan. Now, at 26, he has a great job and really seems to be enjoying life, he works hard, has a lovely girlfriend and a close circle of friends. We recently helped him buy an apartment. We offered to pay for it, but he just wanted a boost up the property ladder, so he has a mortgage and is busy redecorating.

Our daughter was 13 when we moved and wanted to go to private school, which was no problem. But she’s now 21 and just obsessed with money. I gave up overspending years ago, and my husband and I love our jobs, but our daughter has no qualifications and doesn’t seem interested in getting any. She says she’s an influencer, she has 3,000 social media followers and spends most of her time posting images of herself and everything she has on Instagram, from the Range Rover that we bought her at her collection of designer handbags. She wants to be a designer and wants us to fund her to start a business, but I honestly think if she had any artistic talent, she showed it in school.

She’s never worked and hate the cosmetic treatments our money goes on her face is botoxed and she has those horrible duck lips. My husband says the shell came out of it, but I’m not convinced. I’m afraid she’ll never be happy, despite all the money: she’s a chronic discontent and she takes no responsibility. I wish I was like my own parents and careful not to spoil her, but she and her brother were treated the same and they turned out to be so different.

She’s been pestering us now to buy her an apartment, but I feel like I have to fix some of the damage I’ve done or I’ll never be happy. I told her that if she went to college and got a part time job we would discuss helping her start a business and she accused me of hating her and being selfish but I’m not backing down . It’s my fault that she’s so materialistic and lazy, although my husband says I overreact and she has her good points. I think it’s just wishful thinking. It’s a lot harder to be a good parent than a bad one and I feel like I’ve done some damage so I have to sort it out.

Do you have a parent confession that you’ve never shared publicly? Let us know in the comments section below

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