Dallas’ favorite takeouts by our 2022 restaurant reviews

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Elsie the cat is not allowed to eat people’s food. Elsie was never allowed to eat food. And, before we wade through a gallery of Elsies’ never-ending brazen attempts to steal takeout from some of Dallas’ most beloved restaurants, know that she wasn’t actually allowed to touch any of them. I kept one hand on the camera, one hand ready to gently lead the cat away from the dining room.

We adopted Elsie from Dallas Animal Services in April 2017, and she has been trying to eat our food ever since. We were told that her previous owner was an immigrant who returned to Mexico and left her behind. This owner left Elsie with a lifelong love for spices and richly aromatic sauces. If you try to open a bag of tacos, or a plate of enchiladas, or a cup of mole negro, or a packet of tamales, Elsie will attack you like a football player. I don’t have any pictures of this, but just a few weeks ago I brought home a bag of leftovers from newcomer El Carlos Elegante, and when we put tacos together from osso buco carnitas, Elsie climbed into our lap and sniffed our fingers.

But her love of food goes beyond her Mexican-American heritage. Open a box of crackers or toast a pita bread and Elsie will climb you like a tree. She runs around the room when we eat salads. Last week we made roasted vegetable sandwiches. To be clear: all vegetables. They would have been vegan if not for the cream cheese in Trader Joes Cauliflower Dip. When we left the room for a moment, we returned to find Elsie rushing around like a bank robber, carrying the top half of a sandwich in her mouth.

Here, I’ve documented the best takeout in Dallas in 2022, as measured by Elsies’ reactions. It was hard because while I was writing this article, Elsie kept trying to eat more food. Just minutes after watching the best sports game of the decade, she was climbing into our lap, trying to knock the Bilad Bakery shawarma off our forks. The saga never ends.

Elsie keeps her eyes on Trompo’s gringa, with all that tempting seasoned pork. Brian Reinhart Elsie Cats Restaurant of the Year: Trompo

Elsie tried to steal a lot of my food. But only once did she have a total nervous breakdown while I was eating, and that’s when I got a take-out quesadilla and elotes from Trompo.

First, she went through all the stages of cat begging. She climbed into my lap and acted innocently, like an affectionate pet who just happens to love you the most while you’re eating. Sure! I believe that. Then she sat on the floor next to my feet, waiting for a piece of trompo pork to fall from my quesadilla. Then she started trying to climb on the table.

Finally, frustrated with the lack of pork on her face, Elsie went all out on the bananas, screaming and galloping through the house from one end to the other. She started attacking the couch. She hid in the bathroom of my evil taco-holding self. In the end, I had to knock her out. Trompo drives her crazy.

Elsie is perched on my lap, staring at my breakfast tacos from Tacodeli. Brian Reinhart

Taqueria runner-up: One Saturday morning, I escaped from a quiet home and returned with a bag of breakfast tacos from Tacodeli. If you have a partner, spouse or sibling, this is a great way to keep them happy. If you have a cat, this is a good way to frustrate it.

Elsie tries to steal a bite of spring roll from Sandwich Hag. Brian Reinhart Maybe I should have named Elsie after the Trix Rabbit. Brian Reinhart Bnh m chat

You might be wondering which restaurant is better: Bnh M Station or Sandwich Hag. Elsie wonders too. That’s why she keeps trying to steal food from both of them.

A pizza delivery from Cedar Hill comes under feline scrutiny. Brian Reinhart I think I’ve found a way to make Pizzana’s trendy pizzas even more Instagrammable. Brian Reinhart Predator Pizza

Elsie would love to eat a few things from Pizzana, especially the Sausage-Topped Vodka Sauce Pie and Neony Pizza Works. She also rekindled her hunting instincts by tracking down a take-out box from Sams Pizza and Pasta in Cedar Hill.

Portrait of Elsie after her sardine radar detects a sandwich nearby. Brian Reinhart The Case of the Sardine Stalker

Back in August, I wrote about the sardine sandwich at La Bodega, which mixes fish with capers, olives, cherry tomatoes, and tons of herbs. But what I didn’t mention was that my quiet work-from-home act of eating a sandwich in private had a very curious onlooker. It makes sense. If there’s one thing cats love, it’s canned fish. My parents fed their cats canned tuna every night when I was a kid and teenager. Elsie has never received this privilege, but she is ready to begin.

Spicy cookies

Elsie isn’t much of a dessert cat, but she loves the aromas of warm spices and bread, which collide with her favorite sweet food: spice cookies. We found her once opening a box of gingerbread cookies. This year she did a serious investigation of a cinnamon spice cookie from Candor Baking (inside Oak Cliff Coffee).

The dessert of the year, according to Elsie, could be this cookie from Oak Cliff Coffee. Brian Reinhart

And then there was the Best New Restaurants dinner in December. Vestals Catering, our pick for the best catering company in Dallas, sent every guest home with a celebratory gift: a box of tiny mini molasses cookies. I put the box on the kitchen counter and went to bed. In the middle of the night, we heard a small snap. The next morning, the Vestals cookies were all on the floor but luckily still safe inside the box. Apparently, in the restaurant business, you learn to protect your offers from cats.

My God. It really does feel like I’m living under constant siege, doesn’t it? We feed Elsie twice a day and she has maintained a stable, healthy weight for several years. But no foodstuff is safe from its prowling attentions. Especially not Trompo. If you bring a bag of Trompo tacos to my house, good luck.

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Author Brian Reinhart See profile

Brian Reinhart became D Magazine’s food critic in 2022 after six years of writing about restaurants for the Dallas Observer and the Dallas Morning News.

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