Six Reasons Why ‘Where Are You Really From?’ is racist

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It was nothing special, just a casual encounter at a reception at Brussels Bubble. As she introduced me to the EU representative of an international organization, a friend mentioned that I was a European “expert” on European issues.

There was a quick exchange of business cards. The woman looked at my name, then me. She was clearly puzzled for a moment, but then had a “Eureka!” moment.

With elections to the European Parliament just 18 months away, allowing the racist and far-right whistles of the ‘European way of life’ to become the norm will have dire consequences.

“Ah, I see you’re from somewhere over there!” she says. “So is it Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, maybe Syria or Lebanon? Where are you really from? »

There was an awkward silence. The person who had introduced us turned bright red. I started to say something but left instead.

No harm in the question, many will say: it’s quite innocuous. The woman was just curious. I have heard such arguments and been asked where I really came from countless times.

This time, however, I couldn’t get the exchange out of my head. It stuck with me as I celebrated Christmas with my large, multicultural, blended, blended family.

It stuck with me when I left Brussels to visit my mother in Karachi after three years of Covid-induced separation.

The moment the Turkish Airlines flight landed at Quaid I Azam airport, I knew I had to tackle the problem head-on. Why had the question upset me so much?

Unlike Ngozi Fulani, founder of a British domestic violence charity, who was repeatedly asked where she really came from at a royal event in London, the question certainly did not “traumatize” me. “.

But it had triggered a complex mix of confused emotions. I was angry, irritated and saddened all at the same time.

I needed to clear my head and clarify why asking “where are you really from?” can be hurtful to so many people. So here is an attempt at a very personal and partial explanation.

Firstly, as an atypical inhabitant of #BrusselsSoWhite myself, I can testify to the fact that it is not a discomfort to be different.

The people I meet in my work against racism and for equality feel the same way. For them too, difference is a daily reality, part of their complex, multiple and often hyphenated identities.

They are not ashamed of their “roots” or their so-called “duality”. On the contrary, they see them as an asset.

They embrace and celebrate their diverse heritage and origins as an additional skill set – even an additional geopolitical skill set – that benefits the European nations they call home and the countries where they or their parents/grandparents were born.

Second, until the glorious day when things change on Planet EU, being different – ​​looking different – ​​in the white spaces of Brussels will remain the norm for non-white, non-Christian Europeans.

This is normal for the course (of obstacles) in which most Europeans of color become quite good at navigating.

This becomes a problem, however, when people use the difference to question a person’s ‘true’ identity and to challenge their credentials and place in Europe.

Third, if someone is presented as European, it is because that is how they choose to identify. It means Europe is home, they belong here.

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The question of women, with its unpleasant orientalist overtones, had brought me entirely into another distant and exotic world, stripping me of the European part of my identity. As I came from a jungle or a badland “over there”, I was not really a “European”, I pretended to be one.

Fourth, she cataloged, classified and categorized me. More than that, I had been simplified.

It turned me into a one-dimensional version of myself and negated my ability to move seamlessly between cultures, histories, and geographies in a very complex world.

Fifth, let’s be frank: even though we all come from somewhere, only Europeans of color are being asked the question with the “really” in it.

So the next time you think people shouldn’t be criticized for “just being curious” about someone’s origin, ask yourself why this harmless additional sub-question only surfaces around non-white Europeans. .

Once you’ve done this, it should become clear that the query is a micro-aggression that plays on toxic stereotypes embedded in conscious or unconscious biases based on culture, history, and geography.

Racism is often violent but it is also structural and subtle.

Sixth, context matters. I love sharing stories about our diverse backgrounds with friends and other non-white Europeans. However, the question is definitely not appropriate in job interviews and other work-related situations, including networking parties.

This is because it is about power structures. The woman I had just met indicated her “powerful” European authenticity to my less powerful one. Moreover, experience shows that the question is asked by the bosses, and not by those at the bottom of the pecking order.

It may seem trivial to spend so much time and energy ‘overthinking’ a single issue at a time when Europe is facing so many complex national, regional and global challenges.

In fact, this is precisely the time for such an uncomfortable discussion.

Fighting racism and discrimination and working to build a truly inclusive Equality Union is not a sideshow. It must not be put on the back burner as racists and populists become mainstream across Europe.

With elections to the European Parliament just 18 months away, allowing the racist and far-right whistles of the “European way of life” to become the norm will have dire consequences.

In 2023, Europe must do better. The future of our societies and the role and reputation of the EU in the world depend on it.

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