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Choosing whether or not to have children is a very personal decision. Ultimately, the choice is yours and your partner’s, and no one else trying to weigh you down or sway you one way or the other.
This is true for all circumstances, but is even more crucial to keep in mind in situations where bigoted or controlling in-laws are involved. Take it from this Redditor, who told his racist parents where to push him after he made an awful comment about his hypothetical kids with his Latinx partner.
Writing on the infamous /AmILeAsshole Subreddit, user @ComfortableFuture222 gave commenters some context: She (22F) is a white woman in a long-term relationship with her high school sweetheart, a 23-year-old Cuban named Luca, for years. Luca is sterile, so the chances of them having children together are slim. But that doesn’t bother her, she wrote, “Luca and I are on the same page, and we want to live our 20s without the responsibilities that kids bring.”
Her family, however, sees things differently. “I’m an only child and the only one left to ‘continue our bloodline’ – my dad’s words,” @ComfortableFuture222 shared, who, what?! Red flag number one, IMHO.
At a recent family dinner, @ComfortableFuture222’s mom and grandma asked her and Luca about their plans for marriage and children. The conversation quickly took a turn: “They asked us when we were planning to get married, and we replied that it was not our main priority. Mind you, we’ve just started our careers and aren’t in a financial position to even consider marriage. My mother’s rebuttal to my statement was that she would cover all the expenses, which also meant that she would control everything. I said firmly, ‘No, thank you, we’ll wait.’ »
Then they pushed the couple to have children. Her mother and grandmother claimed that @ComfortableFuture222’s fertile clock is “ticking”, which is a ridiculous thing to say to a 22 year old. To make matters worse, when Luca mentioned her infertility, her mother lost her. Mom canceled son’s birthday after making sexist comment, but Reddit wants her to reconsider
“My mother says, ‘So you won’t give me real grandchildren?’ She then says, and I quote, “I’ve already accepted that my grandson isn’t pure with your genes. Now you’re saying you can’t have any at all?”
BIG phew. In case it wasn’t clear, his mother was referring to Luca’s “darker complexion” as a Latinx person – thus, being blatantly racist in his face. Naturally, @ComfortableFuture222 and her boyfriend were furious. Luca then asked if they would like their hypothetical non-white child, and the mom had the audacity to “[call] rude to insinuate such a thing.
At that point, the couple got up and left dinner, with @ComfortableFuture222 chastising their racist family members as they walked out. But wait, it gets worse. His mother texted him later – not to apologize, but to double down with an absolutely crazy suggestion.
“She called me after I left her reading and told me I was being brainwashed by Luca,” @ComfortableFuture222 wrote. “She says she can arrange artificial insemination with one of her friend’s (white) sons. That I should want kids, especially now because I can stay home and raise them. … I called her a racist bitch who I’m frankly ashamed to call my mother. She cried and hung up, and I got a text from dad saying I’ve gone too far, and I’m not allowed to go home unless I plead for their forgiveness and obey their their standards. I replied fuck you and blocked them both. So AITA? »
Redditors in the comments resoundingly assured her that she had done nothing wrong. In fact, most of them applauded her for blocking her parents – and suggested she not get in touch for a while.
“NTA,” one person said. “Your mother should make apologies, not receive them. You and Luca are adults, and if you don’t want kids, that’s it, it doesn’t matter what anyone else in the family wants for you.
“I’m so sorry you had to deal with this,” another user commented. “I know it hurts right now, but there’s no doubt your parents are horrible people. They’re shamelessly racist and just plain cruel. You and Luca are 100% better off without these people in your lives.
Many also pointed out that @ComfortableFuture222 doesn’t owe his parents any grandchildren.
“You don’t owe anyone anything, kids. Never,” one person claimed. “Whether you’re an only child or have 20 siblings, you or your partner can. It is entirely up to you. You are not a broodmare.
In an addendum to their original post, @ComfortableFuture222 sincerely thanked AITA Redditors for their supportive tips. She even showed the message to Luca and his mother, which was “the true definition of a good mother and showed me more unconditional love [than] my mother has in my 22 years of life.
“I no longer have any contact with my family to this day,” she added. “This incident happened about a week ago. Luca and I have been looking for a place together, and my family won’t know where it is.”
Before you go, check out these mental health apps we swear by:
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Sources 2/ https://news.google.com/__i/rss/rd/articles/CBMib2h0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnNoZWtub3dzLmNvbS9oZWFsdGgtYW5kLXdlbGxuZXNzL2FydGljbGVzLzI3MDMyNTcvcmVkZGl0LWFpdGEtcmFjaXN0LXBhcmVudHMtcHJlc3N1cmUtdG8taGF2ZS1raWRzL9IBc2h0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnNoZWtub3dzLmNvbS9oZWFsdGgtYW5kLXdlbGxuZXNzL2FydGljbGVzLzI3MDMyNTcvcmVkZGl0LWFpdGEtcmFjaXN0LXBhcmVudHMtcHJlc3N1cmUtdG8taGF2ZS1raWRzL2FtcC8?oc=5 The mention sources can contact us to remove/changing this article |
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