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I-Bible.com
We only have a certain amount of emotional energy to go through. When we are trying to resolve conflicts, we can use this energy to right the blame or fix the problem.
But now you yourselves must cast it all away: the anger, the anger, the wickedness, the blasphemy, the filthy language of your mouth. (Colossians 3: 8)
We don’t have enough energy to do both. We have to ask ourselves what is more important, blame the other person or resolve the conflict. We must choose to solve the problem, not the blame.
When it comes to solving problems, we need to decide in advance that we will fight fairly. Within our marriages or families, set ground rules for words we will never use, words can create or destroy.
Even when we are on opposite sides of an issue, we could at least agree not to use our words to bring about destruction.
When we use our words in our relationships as weapons, we fix the blame, but we never fix the problems.
In marriages, for example, these weapons include things like the threat of divorce or parenting education. We have to agree, no matter how upset we are, those words are forbidden.
These are words that create destruction; they destroy a relationship by destroying trust.
The Bible is very specific about what is prohibited in a relationship: anger, rage, wickedness, slander, and foul language, to name a few.
They are used to right the blame, and when we right the blame, we judge, and only God has the right to judge.
Put the destructive words aside and use your energy for what matters. Solve the problem, not the blame.
What words do you use in your relationships? Are they building or destroying?
Heavenly Father, I ask you to watch over my mouth so that I do not sin with my tongue. My language is created to praise and honor you. By Your Word living in me, I will watch what I say and do good and not destroy others. Thank you, father. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
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