I Kissed a Boy: Kilkeel man on UK’s first gay dating show

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By Laura McDaidBBC News NI

55 minutes ago

Legend,

Gareth Graham of Kilkeel (right) takes part in the UK’s first gay dating show

As a gay man who grew up in a small fishing village in Northern Ireland, anxiety was a familiar feeling for Gareth Graham – but it’s one he’s overcome since coming out four years ago. years.

Now 28, he is preparing to step into the spotlight as a contestant on the UK’s first-ever gay dating show, I Kissed a Boy, on BBC Three.

Filmed in Italy and hosted by popstar Danni Minogue, the format is 10 single men paired up by producers based on their likes and dislikes.

They meet for the first time with a kiss that will decide whether or not they want to commit.

The ultimate goal, as with most dating shows, is to watch the drama unfold as the contestants try to find love, but Gareth insists this one is more relevant than the others.

Image source, James Stack

Legend,

Gareth hopes the program will send a positive message to young gay people

“In Love Island, everyone is beautifully haired, the men all have abs. This show celebrates body positivity and diversity, with real backgrounds and stories.

“It’s not a room full of Ken dolls and Barbie dolls… unrelated people, so I think it changes the trajectory of the reality TV project. It challenges what beauty is. ”

As a child in Kilkeel in the early to late 2000s, Gareth was too young to remember fellow County Down countryman Patrick Kielty present Love Island in his early days. Even in its most recent format, however, he didn’t like the show because he didn’t feel reflected in it.

“I’ve never seen people like me on dating shows before, so I’m really proud to represent Northern Ireland in that way.

“It had to happen and what I really hope is that a child who doesn’t feel accepted in their school or their community will watch this and feel proud of who they are, feel confident in who they are. East.”

“I watched fashion shows in the dark”

Growing up in a community where family life revolved around religion and traditional roles, the designer, who now lives in London, felt like “an outsider”.

“I used to secretly watch fashion shows in the dark and dance to Lady Gaga when I knew no one was watching, or secretly flip through editions of Vogue and become obsessed with fashion.

“I heard things at school growing up, especially in the early to late 2000s, that scared me and I realized Northern Ireland was not the right place for me. – I would never really feel accepted there. I knew I was never going to buy a fishing boat, marry a local girl and have lots of kids.”

I Kissed A Boy is about love more than sex, he said, adding, “We have real stories and real feelings and we want to love and feel love like anyone else.

“I sometimes get frustrated with people who say, ‘I’m okay with you being gay, but not in front of me.’

“We deserve to be here; we need to exist as ourselves, not some version of ourselves that isn’t authentic.”

“I still see men in difficulty”

He has also at times felt a degree of frustration with what he calls “toxic masculinity” within the gay dating scene.

“It’s a recurring theme – some men don’t want to end up with a man who is too overtly feminine, others want a man who is gay but who acts straight.

“I’ve spent 24 years of my life pretending to be straight and it’s not healthy.

It took me so long to come out to my family, to come out to my own town, to feel proud of who I am, and it saddens me when I see other men still stuck with it all, still struggling with it.”

Image source, James Stack

Legend,

The I Kissed a Boy contestants spent a month filming in Italy

Gareth believes that society, particularly in Northern Ireland, still has a long way to go in terms of acceptance and understanding of the LGBTQ+ community.

“The gay suicide rate is so disturbing. If being gay were normalized, gay people wouldn’t die because of who they are,” he said.

Although he considers Northern Ireland to be conservative and religious, Gareth stressed that he was “absolutely not against religion at all”, but rather against the use of Christianity as a means to criticize gay people.

“They say it’s wrong [in the Bible] – well, cheating on your wife too, hypocrisy too, hate too,” he added.

Image source, James Stack

Legend,

Gareth hopes viewers will find the show informative and entertaining

“I actually love the sense of community in a church and the feeling you get in a choir, so I recently went with a friend to a church in London where the singing was just amazing and the minister was gay and nobody cared, and I thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be great if that happened in Northern Ireland?'”

“We are not promiscuous creatures to be feared”

Popstar Danni Minogue said that as a straight woman she had doubts about whether she was the right host for the show.

“I didn’t want to be on a reality show that used people,” she told the BBC. Assured that was not the case, she signed up and Gareth said she had become a mother figure to all 10 contestants.

“Aphrodite doesn’t come close – she’s an absolute goddess,” he said. “Yes, she’s beautiful on the outside, but she’s also beautiful on the inside. She was like a mother figure to us – so protective and caring.”

The overwhelming memory of the show, Gareth said, is laughter and he hopes viewers will find it entertaining.

“You put 10 gays in a room together, you’ll laugh. But there’s also an important message: we’re not evil creatures to be feared. We just want to find love like everyone else.”

The first episode of I Kissed A Boy will be released on BBC iPlayer on Saturday 13 May. The remaining episodes air on Sundays and Mondays on BBC Three and BBC iPlayer.

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