Why Thô? So your neighbor raised a racist flag …

[ad_1]

This is the last installment in the Oregonian / OregonLives advice column, Why Tho? by Lizzy Acker. Lizzys’ tips first appear in our weekly newsletter. Want to get it early? Subscribe now.

Dear Lizzy,

I have an older neighbor who is disabled and lives alone. I’m always on phone to help this person when they need it, but recently they’ve put up a racist flag. There are a lot of non-white people in our neighborhood and this is just an offensive flag on so many levels. I don’t want to leave this person completely alone, but I don’t want to do anything to help and encourage a racist. What can I do?

Most of the time neighbor

Dear especially neighbor,

I was honestly taken aback by this question – it is so delicate and difficult! You don’t want to be silent, but what to say and how to say it? So I turned to an expert. Amy Herzfeld-Copple is associate director of strategic programs and initiatives at the Western States Center, an organization specializing in the study of extremism.

Herzfeld-Copple suggested a concrete course of action:

It can be difficult to approach someone who has already made the decision to display a racism symbol. However, you have a super power here – you are a wonderful, helpful neighbor who has built a relationship with this person over time. Start a conversation and consider asking questions first. For example, what does this flag mean to your neighbor? When and why did they make the decision to post it? These symbols can sometimes have different meanings to different people, so listen to your neighbor what he thinks he is saying by displaying it. Really taking the time to understand their point of view often makes people more open to hearing yours – and can help you respond in a way that is relevant and effective for them. Not to mention your neighbors of color, point out that the flag has other, hurtful connotations for you and possibly others who live nearby. Share your personal values ​​that inform that prospect and consider choosing values ​​that you think your neighbor can share. Explain how people might wonder if the neighborhood is safe and welcoming to people from all walks of life, because of this type of flag displayed on your block. Make sure that your research is solid and that you bring up clear examples of how this flag is used by fanatical groups and individuals. Name the impact of the symbol without insulting your neighbor. Keep in mind that the conversation can take a while to develop. It might even be a conversation you want to continue having with your neighbor. The flag may not go down tomorrow; he may never come down. But with any luck, you plant a seed that can help convince your neighbor that this symbolism is not OK. You can also think about displaying your own flag which displays more inclusive values!

Herzfeld-Copple also offered several other resources that you can access before starting this conversation.

She suggested the mediation and conflict resolution services and resources of the City of Portlands, as well as other resolution centers based in the county. Another great resource she suggested is Portland United Against Hate.

Good luck with this very difficult thing. It won’t be easy, but I think you have an opportunity to help make your neighborhood safer for everyone.

Lizzy

Got a burning question for Lizzy? Email him at [email protected].

Want to get advice from Lizzys before everyone else? Subscribe below to receive it every week straight to your inbox.

Read more Why Tho?

[ad_2]