I’m haunted by criticisms from long ago of my table manners

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: Over a decade ago I was in a relationship with a woman who complained at mealtimes: Immediately after eating a piece of any dish I enjoyed (and chewing and swallowed that morsel, to the best of my memory), I would take a sip of whatever drink I used to “wash down” my food.

This would invariably leave a “mud trail” on the edge of the glass. The slime is undisputed and indisputable.

Isn’t “glass slime” a common occurrence, and is it really a breach of etiquette?

I found the whole subject amusing during my relationship with this person, but now, long after she and I have separated, it’s starting to bother me that I may have been committing, all my life, horrible label faux pas.

GENTLE READER: There are many aspects of food consumption that are not pretty, and some people have stronger stomachs than others. Recognizing this, food etiquette exists so people can share a meal without disgusting each other.

Sometimes it prevents us from doing things; other times it forces us not to notice it. In this case, Miss Manners allows you to lose weight as long as you refrain from sharing glasses.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve noticed that many establishments, from cafes to boutiques, use systems that automatically ask for a tip when you check out – and ‘helpfully’ offer you choices of 15%, 20% and more.

For me, tipping has always made sense for things like haircuts and restaurants, where the person has spent a lot of time with me. For someone who took a donut out of a case and put it in a bag for a tip, that seems excessive. And I say this as someone who’s worked in retail — at a fast food joint, a home decor store, and most recently, an art gallery — never expecting a tip for closing. a sale.

I know I can hit “no tip” but then I’m afraid the person will think I’m obnoxious and make me feel embarrassed. What is your opinion on these systems?

GENTLE READER: That while Miss Manners can sometimes be intimidated by all the new electronics in her life, she doesn’t accept etiquette advice from them.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I am hosted by friends (at any time of the day), I am often asked the question, “Would you like something to drink?” They don’t provide any information about what they have.

It seems rude to ask what they have, and I’m usually not interested in a glass of water. I tried, “I’ll take whatever you have”, but my host can say he has nothing yet.

What is the good answer ? Should I decline the offer of a drink? Ask for water?

GENTLE READER: Ask something common – tea, coffee – or about a beverage category: “Do you have diet sodas?” You might not get exactly what you want, but it’s almost certain to be better than “I’ll get what she got” Russian roulette.

Please send questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to his email, [email protected]; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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