My son said something racist. What can I do?

[ad_1]

Serena Solomon is a writer, mom of two young children, and loves vacations on her own.

I have a clear recollection of a parent telling me the following:

If you’re mean, I’ll put you in a box in the garden and the black man will come and get you.

Disgusting. Hideous. Odious.

Yes, it was the 1980s. And yes, it was Australia.

But parents in modern New Zealand are not shy about having a racial bias and passing it on to their children. Today, however, it is often more subtle and involuntary.

Parents might also stick to the ineffective strategy of pretending that race doesn’t exist, the colorblind idea allowing them to avoid difficult conversations surrounding race. Rather than ignoring race, parents need to take an active role in raising children who view the world with few biases.

It is quite natural for children and adolescents to group the world around them [into categories of race, religion, culture etc], said Hitaua Arahanga-Doyle, professor of psychology at the University of Otago. This is the meaning that is attached to these groups where parents are particularly valuable.

Research shows that children as young as three months old begin to show a preference for their own race. Children between the ages of two and five prefer to play with other people of the same race.

The racial hierarchy begins to develop around the age of five to seven, depending on the environment the child grows up in, said Dr Anita Azeem, a senior lecturer at the University of Otago who studies the child development.

provided

Dr. Anita Azeem is a senior lecturer at the University of Otago. She studies child development and has studied racial bias in children.

Here are some practical, research-based, and simple interventions parents can do to limit racial bias in their child: Expose your child to people of different races

When adults and children interact with people of different races, religions or cultures, they are less likely to develop prejudices against them, Azeem said, because they have met them face to face.

You realize that they have more in common with you. You’re starting to see the middle ground, she added. Kids will see that kids who look different from them can like trucks like them or enjoy the same treats.

Books and other media with various characters

Surprisingly, research shows that reading books or watching TV shows with characters of various races can be just as effective as your child physically interacts with children and adults of different races, said Azeem, from Dunedin, where more 85% of the population is of European origin. . In other words, mingling with a diverse group of people is easier in some parts of New Zealand than others.

You can sit on your couch and meet people from all over the world and see the similarities they have with you, she said, citing Netflix show Daniel Tigers Neighborhood as an example.

Watching movies and TV shows from your parents’ childhood can be problematic not only for racial bias, but also for sexism and fatphobia. However, remakes are on the way like this year’s release of the live-action movie The Little Mermaid starring black actress Halle Bailey as Ariel.

DISNEY

After previews the day before, The Little Mermaid will debut in New Zealand cinemas on May 25.

talk about it

TV shows and books are a transition that parents can use to talk about race with their children. You don’t want them learning bad things from someone else, Azeem said.

In her science book How to Raise Kids Who Arent Assholes, Melinda Wenner Moyer uses the example of a child pointing at a black woman in a grocery store and saying Whoa! His skin is so black!

Don’t shame a child’s natural curiosity or beat them up and make running a taboo subject. A better approach is to tell your child: Yes, his skin is darker than ours, isn’t it? Skin comes in all sorts of colors, and then explain why, writes Moyer (hint: skin color depends on the amount of melanin.)

The more conversations you have with your child about race, the more confident you will become and the less embarrassed you will feel.

Get rid of your own prejudices

The apple does not fall far from the tree is true for racial prejudice. Children will emulate your explicit and implicit biases, which have been confirmed time and time again by numerous studies.

Parents somehow express these attitudes and children basically absorb them, said University of Otago psychology professor Dr Ted Ruffman.

A key way for adults to reduce their own biases is through children interacting with people of other races, Ruffman said.

Socializing with other racial groups themselves means [parents] model the behavior they’re trying to create in their children’s lives, he said.

Resources to share with children

Facebook

Daniel Tiger’s neighborhood in which the protagonist has various friends and teaches important subjects like acceptance, empathy, and peace.

Books

Our Skin: A First Conversation About Race by Megan Madison, Jessica Ralli and Isabel Roxas takes on racism in a unique way to discuss race.

Our Diversity Makes Us Stronger by Elizabeth Cole is another good one for addressing difference anxiety and how beautiful diversity truly is.

All the Colors We Are by Katie Kissinger is another good one that delves into the biology behind differences in skin color.

Hats of Faith by Medeia Cohan is a colorful board book for preschoolers and up. It talks about how different people show their love for God by highlighting commonalities.

TV shows

Daniel Tiger’s neighborhood in which the protagonist has various friends and teaches important subjects like acceptance, empathy, and peace.

Sesame Street Racism on Sesame Street (Season 25, Episode 5). It aired several years ago but is still relevant.

Encanto, Ada Twist, Scientist and Princess and the Frog.

[ad_2]