A faulty “parental view” is responsible for most of today’s problems

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Most of the problems that parents face today in raising children are due to the parents’ misconception. Just as the worldview is made up of attitudes, values, and expectations about the world and its place in it, a person’s parenting view is primarily made up of their definition of their parenting responsibilities. This definition can be inferred from how a parent talks about and to their children, behaves towards them and their parental stress level.

Our collective view of parents has changed dramatically since the 1960s, as evidenced by equally dramatic changes in parent behavior, child behavior, and child and adolescent mental health. Today’s parents are more involved in their children’s lives, today’s families are more likely to be child-centered, the behavior of today’s children is significantly more problematic and Child and adolescent mental health since the 1960s has fallen as the per capita number of child therapists. has grown exponentially. Something is wrong.

This something won’t be corrected by better disciplinary strategies, more pediatric therapists, more pediatric psychiatric medication, or media that provides parents with more parenting resources, which should be evident by now. It will be corrected when we correct our cultural perspective as a parent, and not before.

I have written books on this issue. This, however, is a newspaper column; thus, I can only summarize a few salient points here. Here is.

I was raised in the 1950s. When I acted like a certain situation was just for me, my parents told me I was acting too big for my breeches and to get off my high horse. Parents today don’t seem to notice when their kids burst their panties. To make matters worse, they raised their children on high horses. Behavior has consequences.

My parents were the center of my family’s attention. Children today are the center of attention. (By the way, in case the reader misunderstood, the opinions of my parents’ parents and my peers were almost identical.) Two entirely different approaches to raising children will lead to two entirely different outcomes.

As a child, I was loved and I knew it, but my parents didn’t make a fuss about me. I was definitely not a big deal. Kids today are BIG BUSINESS. For example, if I made a mountain with a molehill, my parents would tell me I was stupid. Parents today are afraid to tell their children the truth about themselves, fearing that such a truth will knock them off their high horse.

In the heyday of American childhood, we had a cultural consensus about children and the purpose of their education (which was NOT to make them feel special). Today we do not have such a consensus. It is even rare to find two married parents who occupy the same parental page. This lack of consensus causes mistrust, defensiveness, stress, and arguments, making it difficult for children to know which expectations are valid and which are not.

The primary obligation in the education of a child is not towards his child but towards his neighbor. Paradoxical as it may sound, this understanding allows for a strong parental outlook and a generally high level of child well-being. That’s what my parents taught me not so long ago.

Family Psychologist John Rosemond: johnrosemond.com, parentguru.com.

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